Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Do you know why cutting flowers from my own garden is a frugal thing for me?

these daffodils, lilacs and Solomon's seal
are the current bouquet on the kitchen table


The answer is not the obvious. It's not simply so that I don't go out and buy bouquets of flowers.

Our house will likely be our largest purchase, for my husband and myself. A house is meant to be lived in. It wouldn't make much sense to spend our hard-earned and saved money on a purchase that we didn't fully use.

By keeping our home as lovely as we can, we reap the benefits of homeownership, by actually spending more time in our home.

And when I bring cut flowers into the house from our garden, the beauty of those arrangements inspires me to keep the rest of our home as lovely as a garden bouquet. As a result, we find our home to be a very inviting place. We're taking full advantage of this major purchase of our home.

23 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thank you, Patti.
      I hope you have a wonderful day!

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  2. I don't adorn my home as nicely as I should. I refuse to spend any money on anything aside from necessities (except our trips, that's for another reason). I think it's because my childhood home was never made up nicely too, zero importance to how a home looked, clean and functional was key, so I guess that's how I was raised. It actually feels like a sin to indulge lol

    I could change that with some determination, but I don't think it is that important to me. However, I do notice the difference coming home from month long trips that our home feels uncomfortable compared to the splendor of hotel accommodations. We're paying some attention to our physical surroundings now that we're retired and have the time and energy.

    I've been thinking another good reason to have invested resources to your home is that it teaches the value of long term vs short term gratification to your children. They can experience the fruits of what you model so well, they will be sure to follow the same path.

    Have a beautiful day in your lovely home!

    YHF

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    1. My apologies...bad choice of word...sin. I don't mean to say it IS a sin to indulge, just that I have a hard time, stemming from my upbringing. My mother made a point not to spoil me, even said so many times, that I cried for a doll at the store and wouldn't stop so she can't spoil me. That incident at the store was when I was only about 5 years old. When my husband heard that, he said "that's mean all children cry for things what's wrong with your mother." She was consistent and thorough in her abuse. Yes, abuse. When I confronted her that the therapist said her ostracism whenever she didn't like my behavior was abuse, she blew up and said she wasn't any different than other mothers. My husband said he doesn't know any mother who ostracizes their own children, let alone a child that was never carried as a baby (she was too busy with domestic chores to carry me.) The torment of my childhood knows no end, but my mother is perfect to everyone else, including my children. I was merely an extension of who she was. And it was thorough. She was a victim of social bullying, which she recounted to me often up to a week before she died at age 79, so much that it made her extremely vulnerable to what people thought of her. She prided herself on being a "good person". My dad, on the other hand, paid no attention to my growing up, never said a word to me as a child, not even how are you or good morning, or happy birthday. All that matters to him is his work, til today he can't stop, and he's 93. He too cares too much what people think and goes out of his way to manipulate and maneuver. Said too much again. I am disgusted by my terrible parenting models. I realize a lot of what went wrong when I watch my grandchildren, and see what my mother ostracized me for was merely "just being a child" antics.

      YHF

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    2. I guess I went overboard to explain myself. Indulgence is something very hard for me to do on many levels personally. I'm working on it. It's not even about the money. I also agree with L&L, that it may be a personality thing. I'm INTJ personality type, spend more time in my head than appreciating the beauty that surrounds me. So all of the above lol

      YHF

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    3. Hi YHF,
      I'm so sorry. Those must be painful memories and feelings to bear for you. Your husband is absolutely right, children do have periods when they ask for things and yes, even whine and cry. It sounds like your mother had no clue what children should be like or what they needed. Can you see in yourself just how far you have come, though? Given this is what you had to model mothering, and how you have such a fantastic relationship with your kids and grandkids. And you plan fun activities for your grands, and seek to help them develop strong bonds with their cousins. You are very different from your mother. For whatever reasons she was how she was, you have made a conscious effort to overcome her modeled behavior patterns and be a healthy, wonderful, caring mother, wife, daughter, grandmother and friend. I don't know if the emotional scars ever heal. What a blessing your husband is to you, to understand and validate you so thoroughly.

      Anyways, cut flowers if you care to, or don't. I think my message is more that I am trying to find the things that bring me pleasure and surround myself with them.

      Have a great day, YHF!

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    4. Again, Lili, thank you for your understanding and kind words. I am consumed with this, mostly at nights, not a day goes by that I don't feel the nightmare or PTSD from the ostracism. She really did a bang up job, the only point at which she relented was when she saw me visibly broken down, then she cried and hugged me, but that didn't stop her from doing it over and over again. She never communicated one word about it otherwise, no explaining, nothing. Just silent treatment for days until she couldn't stand how I literally dragged myself in stupor since I was in a state of shock and depression. I have seen several therapists for ten years, from 1985-1995, it's been a very long road to recovery, sometimes I feel the pain (and anger) is getting worse and I can't continue. It is worse at nights, and now that I'm retired I find myself dwelling on this more. Sorry to go off topic with this but I just needed to explain that her ostracism was not just momentary silence.

      YHF

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    5. Hi YHF,
      I am so sorry for what you had to go through. I'm keeping you in my prayers.
      Mary

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    6. Thank you, Mary, for your prayers. I always end up with the same rant, sooner or later where ever I post....

      YHF

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    7. YHF,
      Sometimes people just feel the need to explain themselves, and that is completely okay.
      Have a lovely day!
      Mary

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    8. sending big hugs -- (((YHF)))

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  3. Very pretty bouquet, Lili. I enjoy bringing flowers inside, but don't do it often enough. One time I make sure I bring blooms in, is when our brilliant blue hydrangea is blooming in the summer. Those blooms last for a very long time, and the color just amazes me.
    Have a great day!
    Mary

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    1. Hi Mary,
      Do you ever dry your hydrangea blooms? It doesn't keep the color, but in fall and winter it sure is nice to have a reminder of their summer richness. I agree, the brilliant blue ones are spectacular. I am working on our soil to get our hydrangeas more in the blue ranges.

      I hope you've been out enjoying this preview of summer we've been having! Have a great day, Mary!

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    2. I do have dried hydrangea blooms in a couple of vases! They do lose that brilliant blue color, but they are still a very nice shade of blue. We, too, have cats, so it limits what live plants we can have in our home. My decor is a mix of thrift store items, pottery our children made in high school, and gifts we were given (both new and previously owned)--simple, yet enjoyable to look at.
      Mary

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    3. ...and yes, I have been enjoying the beautiful, summer-like weather we have been having!
      Mary

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  4. I think one thing that has helped me is to remember that God loves beauty. He created the wonderful world we live in and all the beautiful things in it. He could have made the world just to be functional, but He didn't. So it's not wrong for me to want to make my home beautiful. Our home is a haven for my family. Now, of course, I always find ways to beautify my home frugally. I love yard sales. I also love homegrown flower bouquets on the table. I actually prefer them to store bought flowers. They just look more real to me. Your bouquet is beautiful, Lili. Melissa

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    1. Hi Melissa,
      I think you're right. Florist bouquets have a different "feel" to them, not as enchanting or cozy as a homegrown bouquet. Yes, I agree, God does love beauty. You put it very well.

      Have a great day, Melissa!

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  5. You have such lovely flowers to cut and arrange into bouquets. I don't have a lot of flowers, but I do put some crocuses and grape hyacinths in a bud vase in the spring. Lilacs and peonies are an early summer thing. Too bad I have to put them up high so my naughty cat doesn't eat them.

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    1. Hi Kris,
      Lilacs are usually a May thing, here. But this year, with such a mild winter and warm spring, everything is early. It's still April, yet the wisteria is about to bloom, too! Crazy!

      With our cat, there was never a place high enough, to be out of her reach. If she saw a high spot/shelf, she "had" to go there. So, I can relate. Although she didn't chew up a lot of things, just knocked things about.

      Have a great day, Kris!

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  6. I can relate to what YHF said. I grew up in a home that was clean and neat, but definitely not decorated. My parents didn't always have a place to live when they were growing up, so providing a stable place for us to live was a luxury to them. So while I appreciate things looking nice, I don't think about it so much. I think there's personality involved also. I have one sister who is much like you, Lili, and goes the extra effort to make things look nice.

    And like Kris said, we don't decorate with several things because of the cats. They either knock it over to play with or eat it and then throw it up. However, what is important to me is looking out the windows. There's always a show and it makes me smile every day.

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    1. Hi live and learn,
      I agree, there's personality differences at play. I enjoy the going out, looking, cutting and arranging of the flowers -- the whole process. And as I am the one who gets the opportunity to go out and see what's in bloom, I feel like I'm doing a service for my family members who might not get many chances to see things in bloom in our own yard, due to being away all day. It's a job that I look forward to each week.

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  7. Such a beautiful bouquet, Lili. I love fresh flowers especially hyacinths. I was smelling them at the grocery store the other day. They were priced at $18.99. I have some in my yard, but they did not bloom this year, unfortunately. Fresh flowers do make the house seem so much nicer though.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Belinda,
      Oooh! $18.99 sounds like a lot for hyacinth. Hopefully next year yours will bloom again. They do have a wonderful fragrance!

      Have a great day, Belinda!

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I'm so glad that you stopped by today. Please comment, and let me know what you're thinking.