High-Intentionality Shopping (or Becoming a Winning Shopper)

image: Blake Wisz on Unsplash

⏲ Grab a coffee! 4 min. read.

Sometimes saving money on a purchase actually means you decided not to buy the discounted item.

This morning my husband and I had our senior date. We went to Value Village on senior discount day and then went to Walmart to pick up a few groceries. Walmart is literally right next door, so I didn't even need to move the car for that stop.

Value Village gives seniors a 30% discount on Tuesdays. My husband was home this morning, as he had a dental appointment -- perfect opportunity to see what Value Village had. 

I've been hoping to find a thin cotton sweater in mustard yellow. I also need a couple of new dishcloths. And of course, I planned on checking the dishes, the canning jars, and the cookbooks.

Nothing on the dishcloths, the canning jars or the cookbooks. There were 2 cup and saucer sets in a dish pattern I collect. But I decided to pass on those, as we have 4 cups/saucers in this pattern, it's a summer pattern, and we don't tend to drink tea in summer. I could have bought these and expanded our set. But I didn't really feel we needed them.

As for the sweater, there was a mustard yellow cardigan sweater in my size. I tried it on, and it fit. However, it wasn't a thin sweater. I am specifically looking for a thin cotton sweater, something I can layer. And the kicker, it was $10! Since when is a used sweater that was donated to the store worth $10?

I've actually seen a couple of sweaters that fit my 'want list' better than this one at Poshmark, although a few dollars more than the Value Village one.

If I had bought this sweater today, I might have felt good at first, because I found something close to what I wanted and with a discount. However, since this sweater isn't quite what I'm looking for, I might not wear it that much. It might sit on a shelf in my closet week after week. Meanwhile, there are sweaters that fit my list better. I've seen a couple on Poshmark. I'm not just wanting something that doesn't really exist. 

But what if I wind up spending more on a different sweater? Is that still a win? Spending more and getting what I actually want is a big financial win.

Let's play this out. 

I spend $10 less the 30% discount for today's sweater at Value Village, so $7. I wear the sweater a handful of times over the fall and winter, maybe 4 times. It kind of bothers me that it's not what I wanted. It's bulky, and I dislike bulky. At $7 divided by 4 wears, my cost per wear is $1.75 for this year.

Alternatively, let's say I buy one of the Poshmark sweaters for $13 plus shipping (about $6.50), for a total of $19.50. That's over double what the Value Village sweater would have cost. But I like the fit. I like that it's all cotton. I like that it's thin enough I can layer it. I wear it twice a month for the next 6 months, or 12 times this year. My cost per wear is $1.62.

But wait, it gets better.

Sweater one just isn't right. My wears per year dwindle over the next couple of years and I donate it to Value Village or Goodwill.

Meanwhile, I really like sweater two (because it is what I wanted) and I continue to wear it twice per month each year. The difference between the cost per wear for sweater one and that for sweater two continues to grow. 

Sweater two becomes a cool weather staple in my closet for several years. I take good care of it, and it lasts.

Sweater one is the compromise item. It wasn't what I really wanted, but I might have talked myself into buying it, compromising my want list. Compromise items rarely work out well for me. It's not important that I have the sweater I want right this minute. It's more important that I buy the right sweater, even if it takes longer to find.

I gave you two possible sweater scenarios. What I actually envision is I would buy sweater one, be unsatisfied and eventually buy sweater two as well. I would buy two sweaters because I couldn't sustain the patience to keep looking.

Passing on a compromise item takes clarity of purpose and discipline to keep that front of mind. This is easier said than done. 

Retail environments are designed to wear the customer down into accepting something not quite what they wanted. Discounts, appealing displays, background music and settings that interfere with mental processing all push the consumer into a purchase. 

In addition, our own hardwiring makes us vulnerable and breaks us down: decision fatigue, search abandonment, the promise of a dopamine hit, the "good enough" rationalizing, and even FOMO psychology when you do see a sale on a compromise item, all push us from the inside toward a purchase.

So how can we overcome these obstacles?

I find it helpful to write down what I am looking for, with specifics that are deal breakers for me. I also try to reframe not buying the compromise item as a "win." I successfully kept a sweater I wouldn't be happy with from landing in my closet. I didn't allow the promise of a discount to blur my clarity. I eliminated one type of sweater that doesn't work for me and strongly refined my "want list." Those are all wins.

Stuff is just so cheap these days. Even on a budget, I think I could fill our house twice over with stuff from garage sales, thrift stores, and free piles. He who has the most stuff does not win the game. Using the most coupons or finding the best deals also does not win the game.  A winning shopper is someone who maintains total sovereignty over their purchasing experiences, deliberately curating their belongings and what remains in their home.

How about you? Have you ever felt pushed or pulled into making a compromise purchase? What other categories (electronics, home goods, cars) are tempting to compromise your "want list?"