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Thursday, June 19, 2014

Another reason why it's important to count your blessings

I was reading this study the other day, about how feeling "poor" can lead to depression. Now I don't mean a case of the "I wish I had that handbag, boat, vacation, dinner out" depression. But depression with a big D.

Low socioeconomic status is one of the predictors of mental health problems. The reach of economic-related depression, goes beyond those individuals who we typically define as living in poverty (unable to meet their basic human needs with their income). Relative poverty, or looking around and seeing that your neighbor has enough money for more worldly luxuries than you, can lead to mental health issues, as well.

The haves and the have-nots

There will always be someone who experiences a higher standard of material living than we do. That's just a fact for all but one person in this world. But where you live can affect how much relative poverty exists for you.

Some states have a greater divide between wealthy and poor, than other states. Utah and Alaska have the least division between wealthy and poor. There are more folks right there in the middle, economically, in those two states.

The two states/districts with the highest level of income inequality are New York and the District of Columbia (Washington DC). When you think about NYC, there's the Wall Street tycoons, and then there are the many service-oriented/lower wage workers. In DC, you have the upper-echelon government members, and again the lower-paid service sector of employees. It would be tough on one's ego to live there, and be in that lower tier.

Even if you don't live in either NY or DC, one's own community can leave a person feeling "poor".

"Huge income gaps in a community can make people feel impoverished, even when they are not poor by economic standards - and blaming themselves for their "failure" may add to depression risk". (http://news.msn.com/science-technology/feeling-poor-it-could-be-linked-to-depression)

This resulting depression is more prevalent among women than men. Many jobs traditionally held by women, (education, childcare, home healthcare), don't reward the employee as well, financially as those positions traditionally held by men. Women may work as hard, or harder, in their profession, have the same amount, or greater level, of education, but still not be compensated financially to the level experienced by men. Hard work that is not fully recognized or rewarded leads to frustration, perceived lack of achievement and depression. Doesn't sound very promising, does it?

How do I deal with our relative poverty and the potential for depression?

So, what's the answer for us right now. Being aware that this could become an issue for me, just helps me to be more vigilant with my own stinkin' thinkin'. I find help in counting my blessings. Our family may be struggling to pay for our current expenses, right now, but when I take a world-view, I can see how "wealthy" we really are.

For the most part, we are experiencing a very high level of physical health. Women used to die in child birth. Babies often died in the first year or two of their lives. My grandmother's baby brother died as a child, from something that is now "fixable" with surgery. A great aunt of mine suffered with the effects of polio for her entire life. When was the last time you heard of someone contracting polio?

Even on a very tight budget, we have some of the technology that enhances our leisure time -- television, computers, cell phones, speedy methods of leisure travel (can you imagine traveling across the US by covered wagon?).

All 3 of my kids will have university educations. Even with universities becoming more and more expensive, we will be able to do this. Higher education used to be limited to the upper class, and not just because of economics, but socially limited as well.

We live in a nice (and paid-for) home, in a low-crime area, and have heat, food and clothing.

These are some of the big things that I remind myself of when feeling "poor". But everyday, I can find small moments of gratitude that boost my outlook.
  • We have a garden that is allowing me to pick fresh strawberries for breakfast each day this month. 
  • Even on a small grocery budget, there is still room for ingredients to make treats for me and my family. 
  • On Sunday, my in-laws loaned us a bag full of videos/dvds to watch this next month. 
  • I may not be able to buy a bouquet of flowers for the house, but the other day I, once again, cut a bouquet of 10 pink, hybrid tea roses, now gracing the mantel of our fireplace. 
  • My daughters kept their GPAs high enough to qualify for their merit-based scholarships, covering half of their tuition for this next year. 
  • And all three of my kids are gainfully employed. 
  • My computer died completely two weeks ago. But my family has graciously allowed me time on their assorted computers, until I can finish saving to buy a new one for myself.  And again, even on a tighter budget, there is room for this savings.
These are all physical, material things that don't even touch on the emotional/spiritual blessings I feel each day.


Some days, I do feel "poor" and depression is just waiting at the door for me to let it in. On those days, I have to think up a long, long list of blessings to count. Other days, just seeing the silver lining in "my" cloud lifts me up. (No computer of my own, right now, means more time to do other things. Cutting flowers from my own garden gets me outdoors, even in the June gloom. Keeping a garden may be work, but it's also exercise, and much more fun than walking on a treadmill for an hour each day.)

I'm not saying that we can just talk our way out of real depression. Mental health is vitally important. And real depression needs attention. But for many of us, keeping a gratitude journal, whether just a mental list or actually writing it down, can mean the difference between a positive or negative outlook on our own lives.

The other lesson from this study, I learned, is this. It's not productive to compare yourself to others, whether it's belongings, talents, health or family. Our lives are what we have. We can improve many elements of our own lives. But comparing ourselves to others seems like a huge waste of time, to me.

We had a contractor working on our house about 5 years ago. I'd see something in a magazine and come to him and say, "I wish we could use XX design/material here". He'd reply, "it is what it is. XX won't work here, so lets think of something that will." That way of thinking works in many areas of our lives.

And finally, I call on this prayer, often, in my life.

The Serenity Prayer,  written by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen.

What blessings are you counting today?


sources used for this article:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3968015/
http://news.msn.com/science-technology/feeling-poor-it-could-be-linked-to-depression 


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