We're a family of adults, now, with the two youngest, both age 21. And even if we don't all have the skills needed to execute preparations for a complicated dish, we can still each contribute a simple portion to the meal.
New times, new rules. Each person in our family (girlfriend, included) is required to bring one dish to our Thanksgiving meal. Everyone is also required to do their share in non-cooking tasks for the day. Putting together a large celebratory meal is a huge undertaking, and no one un-paid person should be expected to execute all of the details of the feast. (Now, if my family wanted to pay me for that service, say about $60 per person, I'd reconsider this whole "everyone must contribute" idea.)
I have proposed a list of dishes needed for the meal, with slots for sign-ups. I have also proposed a work schedule for sharing our kitchen space. And I have outlined requirements for using the kitchen and all the supplies and tools, and last-minute work related to the dishes.
We are a family of 6 this year, 2 parents, 4 kids (including son's girlfriend). So, I have 6 slots for foods to be prepared: turkey/gravy, an orange vegetable, a green vegetable, a starchy side dish, pies, and a wild-card. The wild-card is given to my son's girlfriend, as her cooking reflects her Chinese heritage, and frankly, anything she prepares will be interesting to our palates, and appreciated. In addition, I have requested that all side dishes have 12-15 servings, ensuring that we will have all of the usual leftovers for the rest of the weekend's feasting.
In addition to the side dish preparation, I have also penned a list of chores related to the big meal, both before and after serving. Each of us will sign up for one "before" and one "after" These include setting the table and putting on the salt and pepper, decorating the table, filling water goblets and putting a pitcher of ice water on the table, putting out the butter, cranberry sauce, olives and pickles, making sure the dishwasher is empty before the meal, organizing a game or activity, clearing the table after the meal, putting away all of the leftovers, cleaning the sink, stove and countertops after the meal, making and serving coffee and tea after dinner, making whipped cream for the pies, hand-washing the roasting pan and serving dishes.
These are the rules I have established for side dish preparation. Their design is to encourage thought as to others' work and needs:
- You may use whatever you find in the kitchen, that has not been set aside for another meal. (Ask Mom if you are in doubt about what's available.) In advance, check for the ingredients that your dish requires. If you need something that is not currently in the kitchen, let Mom know, no later than November 17, so that she can pick it up at WinCo on the 18th. Otherwise, you are on your own for procuring all of your ingredients.
- hand-wash all bowls, pots/pans and utensils after you finish preparing your dish, so that the next cook has a complete kitchen to work with.
- For serving, use the serving dish that Mom has set aside and labeled for your use.
- Stick to the work schedule.
- You are responsible for bringing your dish to the table in ready-to-eat condition. If it requires last-minute reheating, plan to do so.
These changes to our holiday meal preparation have a couple of happy side-effects. I get an easier week leading up to the big day. My kids and husband have the opportunity to expand their cooking skills, and boost their confidence in their abilities to provide for themselves. And I believe that the whole of this group participation will alter and enhance the conversation and appreciation at the dinner table.
This maturing family unit is forging its way into our future.
For those of you with grown kids still at home, have you requested that they prepare a dish for holiday meals? How else have you managed these big family events?
For those of you with grown kids still at home, have you requested that they prepare a dish for holiday meals? How else have you managed these big family events?
