6 Things to Do to Dig Out of Feelings of Deprivation and Self-Pity

Financial set-backs tend to stir up the pity pot for me. So, this go-round, I'm being as proactive as I can. Here's the list that I'm following in order to ditch those feelings of deprivation.

• make an abundance of good foods using your least expensive and abundantly-supplied ingredients, such as bar cookies, breads, yogurt, pudding, flavored popcorn, or granola. I find that if we have a lot of foods available to snack on or make quick meals with, we all tend to forget that our budget is much smaller.

• use the good stuff -- sit in the living room that is usually reserved for guests, have dinner in the formal dining room, use the good china or silver, use those towels that you save for visiting guests, light candles. Our family tends to save the "good stuff" for guests only. Honoring our guests with those nicer belongings is a hospitable thing to do, but sometimes, we need to honor our own family and indulge in using those belongings which are set aside for special occasions. Using a really soft and stain-free towel can put a smile on my face and make me feel pampered.

• this one is helpful when I am wanting "new" stuff -- refresh or refurbish some worn household or personal items, such as bleaching plastic cutting boards and white dish towels, ironing a few favorite shirts, dusting and tidying surfaces in your home, re-dyeing faded clothing, polishing leather shoes, scouring the outsides of pots and pans. We hear this a lot -- we live in a throw away society. We seem to have lost the tolerance for lived-in looking belongings. When something begins to look dingy, instead of restoring the item to its former appearance, it gets tossed into the giveaway pile and replaced with a new version. Not only is this wasteful, but it seems to change the way that I view my possessions. If a blouse looks limp, I no longer choose it to wear. If my dish towels are stained, I don't want them on display when guests are in the house. I have a faded black shirt sitting in the pile of clothing to be dyed soon. It no longer looks nice, so I've avoided wearing it this past year. It used to be a favorite shirt. Once it's re-dyed, I'm hoping it will come back into my clothing rotation. While I shouldn't base my self-esteem on the condition of my belongings, keeping my possessions in good order does make me feel better about myself.

• take advantage of freebies, such as concerts in the park, or books, dvds, and magazines from the library, or free days at museums, or free giveaways at local fast food chains. There are a lot of freebies out there. How can someone possibly feel deprived while eating a free ice cream cone?!

• set yourself up for some serious relaxation, such as a bath with essential oils, candles, and/or music, or lounge in the sun, or have a lie down with music in the background, or spend time in prayerful meditation. For me, de-stressing helps me find my way back to my purpose in this life, which in turn helps me to minimize the significance of a financial set-back.

• this one is probably the most important (but often overlooked) thing to do when self-pity kicks in -- get outside of yourself and do something for someone who could use a little TLC. Volunteering is a great way to find those who could use your kindness and friendly smile. Seeing that someone else is also struggling can put our own situations into proper perspective and give us a sense of belonging to a larger pool of people. 

Is there anything you would add to my list of proactive steps?