Gracious living on any budget

My dearest friend,
I've had a lot on my mind recently. One of the things I've put thought to, is how, exactly, I wish my life to "play out". One of my answers is to live a more gracious life. Here are some thoughts on living graciously on less.


What does it mean to live graciously?

If you look up the word "gracious" in the dictionary, you'll find the definition peppered with words and phrases like "kindness", "merciful", "compassionate", "unaffected politeness", "generosity of spirit", "elegance", "showing regard for others in manner, speech and behavior".

When I begin to think about the source of graciousness in a person, I think it begins with gratitude. If you have great thanks in your heart, then generosity pours forth. You are conscious of how your behavior makes others feel, and you find an inner source of genuine compassion.

A person who is living graciously on less is simply one with deep gratitude for the myriad of blessings in their life, in spite of their economic status. This person takes thoughtful moments to appreciate what they have been given in this life, instead of seething with envy over what their neighbor currently has.

A truly gracious person is not boastful, because they know that would make others feel badly about their own circumstances. A truly gracious person wishes to make others feel good about themselves. And a truly gracious person finds the good in all people, regardless of their income, appearance, or the work that they do.

A gracious person can turn the other cheek when someone is rude to them and smile and return with kindness. A gracious person accepts a wilted handful of yard weeds from a small child with heartfelt thanks. We've all seen a gracious loser before. He's the one who offers his hand with a smile and congratulates the one who bested him.

My high school best friend was one of the most gracious young ladies I knew at that time. After all, she put up with the likes of me even when I was being most unlovely. She could see past my many flaws and find the good in me. Her family lived graciously, despite their relative lack of income compared to many of the other students in our high school. I was always treated as an honored guest in their home. And I'm certain that all who visited them felt the same warm hospitality that I received.

So, what about magazines and television shows which depict gracious living as something only for the financially elite? Well, I think a wealthy person can be gracious or can be an inhospitable snob. It can go either way. The so-called "gracious living" that is seen in the media does not even suit the definition of the word gracious. Having servants, living in an expansive mansion, and dining on the most elaborate of feasts is not what true gracious living is about.

We've all known the little old lady who lived graciously on a small pension. She was the one who was kind and generous in spirit to all. The little old lady that you knew most likely lived in a rather small apartment or house and had well-worn furnishings. Yet, every day she put her hair up neatly, dressed herself smartly, served you tea and toast on her very best dishes and, overall, made you feel as though you were the most important guest she could be entertaining. That's gracious living on less.

Gracious living demonstrates kindness to the ones around you. When you get out your very best, whether it's dishes, towels or foodstuffs, you are showing those who've joined you that you are honored by their presence. Foremost, you wish to insure their comfort and satisfaction.

Living in a grand house does not guarantee one the designation of gracious living any more than living in a small house would guarantee a life of misery. Rich or poor, it's a person's attitude in this life which determines graciousness or misery. I choose an attitude of gratefulness and hope that I will, in turn, live a gracious life.

The Valentine Dog

 Have you been thoughtful and loving this past year? Will the Valentine Dog visit your home?

One year, when I was a girl, my mom "invented" the Valentine Dog. There's the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus, so shouldn't there also be a character who brings trinkets for Valentine's Day? In our house, the Valentine Dog brought something small to those who'd been loving and thoughtful throughout the year. Perhaps this was a ploy to get my brother, sister and I to stop our bickering and begin cooperating. I'm not sure.

Or, maybe, my mom just wanted to add some fun to a holiday that seemed commercially motivated with store-bought candy hearts, boxes of pre-printed cards, flowers from the florist (you'll notice that Valentine's Day is a winter holiday when flowers from your own garden are not possible, and one "must" buy flowers from a shop), and small vials of pricey perfume.

The gifts that I remember. . .

One year, my mom stayed up late into the night, sewing smocked nighties, one for myself and one for my sister. We could hear the sewing machine downstairs, whirring along as we laid there trying to fall asleep. Quietly we whispered to each other, trying to guess what it would be.

Many years I received a little something, like cologne spray (anyone remember Love's Baby Soft, or Love's Lemon Scent?), or a pot or stick of lip gloss (Bonne Bell Lip Smacker anyone?).

I still have one of the items that my mom (the Valentine Dog) gave to me. I was away at college, and she sent me a piece of her jewelry that she was given as a teenage girl. I was very touched by that gift. Her parents had taken a trip to Mexico City, and they bought this "amethyst" and silver bracelet from a vendor on the street. They knew the stones were not real amethysts, but they bought the bracelet anyways. When my sister and I were in college, my mom had two of the stones made into pendants for us. I treasure that. It's a piece of my mom's teenage years, as well as my own.

the pattern and fabric for pj bottoms for my two daughters

Our house continues with the Valentine Dog. Some years, I bake treats, wrap them prettily and place at each person's spot at the kitchen table. Other years, the Valentine Dog brings red and silver foil-wrapped candies (bought on clearance after Christmas), and maybe a very small and somewhat useful gift.

These pj bottoms won't have
an easily identifiable front or
back. I'll sew these fabric
flowers (scavenged from
baby clothing) to the
center-front of the waistband.

This year, I have it on good authority that the Valentine Dog will be bringing a small pouch of candy, and a gift.

I picked up the fabric (using a 50% off sale) for two of the gifts this past week. I'll be sewing pj bottoms for my girls. I've used this pattern for myself a couple of times and will scale it down in size for them.

If you sew a lot, then you know that pj bottoms are a relatively easy project. If you don't sew much at all, this is a good beginner's project -- no zippers, buttonholes, sleeves, plackets or any of the other details that used to give me an enormous headache when I was in middle school Home Ec.



I'm still working on ideas for the men in the family. Suggestions for what I (I mean the Valentine Dog) can do for them?

Be thoughtful and loving to your family, and the Valentine Dog may just bring you a treat!

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