Another reason why it's important to count your blessings

I was reading this study the other day, about how feeling "poor" can lead to depression. Now I don't mean a case of the "I wish I had that handbag, boat, vacation, dinner out" depression. But depression with a big D.

Low socioeconomic status is one of the predictors of mental health problems. The reach of economic-related depression, goes beyond those individuals who we typically define as living in poverty (unable to meet their basic human needs with their income). Relative poverty, or looking around and seeing that your neighbor has enough money for more worldly luxuries than you, can lead to mental health issues, as well.

The haves and the have-nots

There will always be someone who experiences a higher standard of material living than we do. That's just a fact for all but one person in this world. But where you live can affect how much relative poverty exists for you.

Some states have a greater divide between wealthy and poor, than other states. Utah and Alaska have the least division between wealthy and poor. There are more folks right there in the middle, economically, in those two states.

The two states/districts with the highest level of income inequality are New York and the District of Columbia (Washington DC). When you think about NYC, there's the Wall Street tycoons, and then there are the many service-oriented/lower wage workers. In DC, you have the upper-echelon government members, and again the lower-paid service sector of employees. It would be tough on one's ego to live there, and be in that lower tier.

Even if you don't live in either NY or DC, one's own community can leave a person feeling "poor".

"Huge income gaps in a community can make people feel impoverished, even when they are not poor by economic standards - and blaming themselves for their "failure" may add to depression risk". (http://news.msn.com/science-technology/feeling-poor-it-could-be-linked-to-depression)

This resulting depression is more prevalent among women than men. Many jobs traditionally held by women, (education, childcare, home healthcare), don't reward the employee as well, financially as those positions traditionally held by men. Women may work as hard, or harder, in their profession, have the same amount, or greater level, of education, but still not be compensated financially to the level experienced by men. Hard work that is not fully recognized or rewarded leads to frustration, perceived lack of achievement and depression. Doesn't sound very promising, does it?

How do I deal with our relative poverty and the potential for depression?

So, what's the answer for us right now. Being aware that this could become an issue for me, just helps me to be more vigilant with my own stinkin' thinkin'. I find help in counting my blessings. Our family may be struggling to pay for our current expenses, right now, but when I take a world-view, I can see how "wealthy" we really are.

For the most part, we are experiencing a very high level of physical health. Women used to die in child birth. Babies often died in the first year or two of their lives. My grandmother's baby brother died as a child, from something that is now "fixable" with surgery. A great aunt of mine suffered with the effects of polio for her entire life. When was the last time you heard of someone contracting polio?

Even on a very tight budget, we have some of the technology that enhances our leisure time -- television, computers, cell phones, speedy methods of leisure travel (can you imagine traveling across the US by covered wagon?).

All 3 of my kids will have university educations. Even with universities becoming more and more expensive, we will be able to do this. Higher education used to be limited to the upper class, and not just because of economics, but socially limited as well.

We live in a nice (and paid-for) home, in a low-crime area, and have heat, food and clothing.

These are some of the big things that I remind myself of when feeling "poor". But everyday, I can find small moments of gratitude that boost my outlook.

• We have a garden that is allowing me to pick fresh strawberries for breakfast each day this month. 
• Even on a small grocery budget, there is still room for ingredients to make treats for me and my family. 
• On Sunday, my in-laws loaned us a bag full of videos/dvds to watch this next month. 
• I may not be able to buy a bouquet of flowers for the house, but the other day I, once again, cut a bouquet of 10 pink, hybrid tea roses, now gracing the mantel of our fireplace. 
• My daughters kept their GPAs high enough to qualify for their merit-based scholarships, covering half of their tuition for this next year. 
• And all three of my kids are gainfully employed. 
• My computer died completely two weeks ago. But my family has graciously allowed me time on their assorted computers, until I can finish saving to buy a new one for myself.  And again, even on a tighter budget, there is room for this savings.

These are all physical, material things that don't even touch on the emotional/spiritual blessings I feel each day.


Some days, I do feel "poor" and depression is just waiting at the door for me to let it in. On those days, I have to think up a long, long list of blessings to count. Other days, just seeing the silver lining in "my" cloud lifts me up. (No computer of my own, right now, means more time to do other things. Cutting flowers from my own garden gets me outdoors, even in the June gloom. Keeping a garden may be work, but it's also exercise, and much more fun than walking on a treadmill for an hour each day.)

I'm not saying that we can just talk our way out of real depression. Mental health is vitally important. And real depression needs attention. But for many of us, keeping a gratitude journal, whether just a mental list or actually writing it down, can mean the difference between a positive or negative outlook on our own lives.

The other lesson from this study, I learned, is this. It's not productive to compare yourself to others, whether it's belongings, talents, health or family. Our lives are what we have. We can improve many elements of our own lives. But comparing ourselves to others seems like a huge waste of time, to me.

We had a contractor working on our house about 5 years ago. I'd see something in a magazine and come to him and say, "I wish we could use XX design/material here". He'd reply, "it is what it is. XX won't work here, so lets think of something that will." That way of thinking works in many areas of our lives.

And finally, I call on this prayer, often, in my life.

The Serenity Prayer,  written by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen.

What blessings are you counting today?


sources used for this article:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3968015/
http://news.msn.com/science-technology/feeling-poor-it-could-be-linked-to-depression 

30 places to look for rock-bottom food prices

So, I realize that I have many more options for buying food than many of you. I get that. I spend way less than many of you, because I have less to spend than many of you. And even I have to get creative in my shopping venues.

When something I regularly buy goes way up in price, or I add something new to our repertoire, I have to search out the lowest price for that item. I begin shopping around at every grocery possibility that I can think of.

This is my list of where to look. I have personally used or checked into every single one of these shopping venues. It's always worth checking, as you never know when you will discover that rock-bottom venue for your favorite item.

Please add any other possibilities as you think of them.

Produce and meat

• produce boxes (Bountiful Baskets) and CSAs. These can be hit or miss. It's a good idea to read any reviews you can find. I was able to find reviews online for our local Bountiful Baskets.
• open-air produce stands, not adjacent to a farm
• local farms, both u-pick and with a stand on the edge of the farm
• local ranches for meat. If you're in Washington state, check out farmstr.com. They provide a market place for local farmers, for very specific amounts and types of meat. You can also google organic meats, free-range, grass-fed, and the name of your county. I found the ranch where we want to buy grass-fed beef sometime in the future, by doing this sort of online search.
• farmer's markets (our big, well-known farmer's market is in downtown Seattle, Pike Place Market. It's fun to visit, but not always the best prices.) We also have 2 farmer's markets within a 15 minute drive of my house. They're limited to one day per week, and only run during the summer months. You'll find the best deals in the last hour of the day. You just need to make an offer. Worst case scenario, your offer is declined, and you can decide if you want to make a second offer.
• buying meat at drop-off locations, through operations such as Zaycon Foods. Check out www.zayconfoods.com for more information, if this interests you. Their refrigerated trucks bring large boxes of meat to a specified drop-off location. You stay in your car, they load your trunk, and you're set with meat for a while.
• street corner produce vendors. these typically sell one item, like flats of strawberries. They often represent a particular farm in the area, but by selling on the street corner, they sell direct and avoid the middle man. It's always worth rolling down the window to ask their price.
• gleaner's associations in your town or city. You can search online for "gleaner's associations" "your town's name". Many large cities have associations which function to match up gleaners with spots around town with produce needing to be harvested. 

Markets, big and small

• small ethnic markets -- you can find some fantastic deals in ethnic markets. I buy tapioca pearls from the local Korean market. A friend of mine finds produce deals at the ethnic market near her. Look around. Do you have any particularly ethnic areas? Check out their local markets.
• small "health foods" stores. Sometimes these have bulk bins for buying only the amount that you need. We have a specialty "health foods" store offering a variety of grains, spices and cooking dry goods. The packaged foods are expensive, but the bulk section is great. They even sell local honey from a large cask -- bring your own bottle. This may be where I buy some honey this summer. 
• Amish or Mennonite markets. These stores you need to find by word of mouth. But I understand the prices can be very good on staples.
• "import" home stores. Our local Cost Plus has a pretty extensive foods section. I've already told you that I get my vanilla beans there. But also, they carry the brand of olive oil that I really like, at a significantly lower price than supermarkets.
• independent grocery markets, like IGA. We had an independent market nearby that put out a coupon book once per month. Their coupons had some great deals.
• drug stores. I often find eggs, milk, coffee and bath tissue for less at local drug stores. I don't get their flyers in the mail, but I can go online to see the ads each week. This week, one of them has the bath tissue that I like, for $1.50 less per package. I'll be stocking up!
• discount retailers, like Target, Walmart and Kmart. More and more of these discounters are adding large food sections. When I was buying vegetable oil in 1 gallon jugs, I found it for less at Target than at the cash and carry wholesaler. Walmart has a few items that are the local lowest prices, as well.
• traditional chain grocery stores. Everyone knows about checking the store flyers. The front and back page of the ads have most of the deals. But at one particular store, I find good store coupons on the inside pages as well. Also, check the marked down or clearance sections. I've been shopping the clearance section of one particular store for Christmas gift items this month. Some clearance items are all together in a back corner of a supermarket, others (the perishables) are somewhere in their "regular" are, sometimes just in their usual spot, sometimes in a designated "marked down" spot. Try different days of the week and times of the day (earlier in the day is usually better than later in the day, and mid-week is usually better than weekends, for marked downs). And remember, you can freeze almost anything that is nearing it's expiration date. Back in March, I found a bunch of containers of fresh mushrooms on markdown. I cooked them in butter and froze in small containers. We're still using these mushrooms in dishes for the family. Pay attention to particular holiday stock-up opportunities. Thanksgiving gives me the chance to buy several turkeys to freeze, potatoes to store and canned pumpkin to stock up on. Christmas and Easter usually provide the lowest price on hams to freeze. St. Patrick's Day usually sees the lowest price on cabbage for the entire spring and early summer. Memorial Day, 4th of July and Labor Day are great opportunities to stock up on hot dogs and other barbeque items.
• membership warehouses such as Costco and Sam's Club. You really need to do the math to see if membership would be valuable for you. Costco used to let you shop in their store, but pay a small surcharge. Even with the surcharge, it was still worth it for us to shop there for certain items. Our Costco no longer allows this. If you want to see if their prices would be favorable for you, you could always tag along with a friend and check all the prices out.
• dollar stores. There are some surprises in local dollar stores. No longer is everything on the food shelves expired or dented stuff. In fact, Dollar Tree says that once something has passed the expiration date, they reduce it to clear. I have gotten some great deals on chips and candies that were marked down to clear. On their regular shelves, this is where I buy lasagna noodles, crackers, soy milk and sometimes peanut butter.
• discount food stores, like Grocery Outlet. the deals are hot or miss, but I have found a few real deals. My family still remembers the haul of cold cereal I bought there many years ago. I also found deals on large institutional sizes at Grocery Outlet.
• specialty food stores, like Trader Joe's. Trader Joe's is great for organic items. Many of their "regular' items are organic, such as tofu, and soy milk. They also have a decent organic produce section. I also shop here for bananas (19 cents each), nuts and dried fruit, all under the Trader Joe's label (I'm not paying for advertising and packaging).
• gas stations and mini markets. Okay, so most of their grocery prices are horrible. But, many have good deals on prepared items like pizzas. When we've been on vacation, we've bought large pizzas for under $7. Compared to eating in any restaurant, that's a steal for a vacation family meal. Our local 7-11 advertises pizzas for $5.55 each. And don't forget, July 11th (7-11), free small Slurpees for all.
• restaurant, institutional and bakery suppliers. Cash and Carry is our local, sells-to-the-public place. In other areas, there's Smart and Final.
• single item food distributors. The cheapest place to buy large sacks of non-instant dry milk, in our area, is the Seattle Darigold distributor. Back when we bought dry milk, this is where we purchased it. Non-instant dry milk comes in 55 lb sacks, each pound making 1 gallon of milk.
• craft and fabric stores. No, not those overpriced candy bars at the check-out! I make the rounds of the craft and fabric stores a week after each holiday, and buy up holiday cake and cookie decorating items and candy-making supplies, for the following year. This past year, I bought up peppermint bark melting white chocolate, for making some peppermint bark this coming year. I also bought a large package of green and red sprinkles for 90% off. Also, when I need food coloring, I use a 40% or 50% off coupon to Jo-Ann's Fabrics (always an online coupon available) and buy one vial of the color I'm low on. Jo-Ann's is hoping you'll use that one coupon for one item, then pile a bunch of other stuff into your cart at regular prices. But if you're careful, and just buy what's either on sale/clearance plus the coupon on the one item, shopping at craft and fabric stores can definitely be frugal.

Online

• Amazon.com. Amazon has some items at great prices. But you really need to do comparisons, as great prices are not an across-the-board thing with Amazon. I do always check Amazon for unusual or pricey items (some spices and seasonings). If you have a few friends to share out a large package of vanilla beans from Amazon, you can save a bundle on making your extract.

In your neighborhood

• neighbors who keep hens for eggs. We have a neighbor nearby that occasionally puts a sign out advertising they have eggs again for sale. Some neighborhood hen-keepers will offer a discount, if you trade them your empty egg cartons.
• neighborhood cooking exchanges. These are easy to start up in your own neighborhood. Simply find 2 or 3 other neighbors with similar eating tastes and family size, and start a meal exchange. One afternoon per month, you make enough of a meal for your family, plus 2 or 3 other families. Then you deliver at an agreed-upon time. 2 or 3 times per month, you get a break on making dinner, as the meal is delivered to your door by another member of your cooking exchange.
• informal neighborhood food swaps. You have apple trees, your neighbor or friend has pear trees. You swap some of your fruit for some of theirs. Or, you make one variety of jam or pickles, enough for your family and more, and exchange with someone who has made a different variety. Work is simplified by making large batches, and your variety is increased by swapping your excess.
• neighbors with fruit trees that go unpicked year after year. When we first moved into our house, I noticed that our neighbors across the street weren't picking their apples. We approached them and offered to pick their apples for them for a share, or even a swap for our firewood. The woman told us that her arthritis in her hands was too painful to peel apples any longer, but we could have their apples. So, I baked up a bunch of apple cobbler in disposable tins to take over to their house. She could freeze them to use later. We were both happy. We got some apples and she was able to enjoy some of her apples without having to do the peeling. Last fall, a friend of mine called to say that her old neighbor wanted to know if she wanted his apples. He didn't think they were very good apples. But my friend said "sure". One morning, she brought a bag of apples over and we turned them all into applesauce, adding just a bit of sugar, lemon juice and cinnamon for flavor.
• at the holidays, the old "cookie exchange". These are fun and a great way to "produce" a variety of holiday cookies for your family. You bake 5 dozen of your family's favorite cookies, and invite 5 or 6 friends over to sample some cookies, drink some tea, and to divide up all the cookies for each person to take home. Even though it's only June, I'm already planning our cookie exchange for this next December. The bonus to hosting a holiday cookie exchange is it sort of takes the place of buying or making gifts for many of the friends that I invite. Its festive, a gesture of hospitality and a great way to kick off the holiday season for us when done in early December.

Are there other places you have thought of, to find rock-bottom prices on grocery items? I really haven't shopped online all that much for food, so I am sure there are more online sources. Please add any that you know of.

Of the places already listed, is there a particular item or two that you've found at its best price? For example, I've found great prices on cocoa powder at Trader Joe's, and I understand that Aldi's is also a great place for cocoa powder. But at Trader Joe's, I wouldn't buy vanilla beans. I can get those cheaper at World Market or Beanilla.com.  

Or are there specific places or organizations that I haven't explicitly mentioned by name. For instance, for drop-off meat companies, I knew of Zaycon foods. But I don't know of any others. Do any of you?

Does anyone here fish or hunt, or is married to someone who fishes or hunts? Have you ever swapped fish or game with a friend for some of their garden produce? We had a neighbor, once, who gifted us with some venison after we gave him some fresh-picked plums.

Does anyone here keep a goat or cow for the purpose of milking? Or stock a pond with trout? Or keep hens? Some of these ideas seem really out-there. But under the right circumstances, even the out-there ideas might be helpful.

When you're traveling, does anyone here make plans to buy regional food items to bring home? Last September, when we drove to and from California, I wanted to stop and buy California olive oil. I couldn't sell this to my family, though. If I were traveling to a place like Georgia, I'd be checking out places off the beaten track that sold pecans, and do a stock-up purchase.