Dear friends (and I do think of you as friends, you've been so kind and supportive, and offered so many valuable ideas),
Sometimes life just keeps on spinning and spinning, until you realize that it has spun out of control. You don't know how you got there, but your life is now too full, too complicated, and spread too thin.
This is where I found myself in early April. I had said "yes" so many times to so many people, that I couldn't do everything that I was committed to, and do it all well. This is key. If I do something, I want to do it well. So, I spent the second half of April attempting to take some of the "busy" out of my life.
There's a lot of common wisdom on how to unwind a too-tight life. For the last few weeks, I've been trying to implement many of these suggestions, such as:
- spend some time choosing what will be your priorities. This is a no-brainer for me, most of the time. Serving God, my friends and family are what and who matter most.
- begin saying "no" to people and things that don't reflect your new priority list. So, I've begun doing this more. I realized that I don't need a long, expanded reason why I can't contribute time to something. Just a simple, "oh, I'm so sorry, but I have something on my calendar that day". And that is true, I have ME on my calendar that day.
- use a calendar and only fill it partially. This is really freeing. When I allow myself to have fewer appointments on my calendar, I actually achieve more concerning my list of priorities (see the first point). How much a person fills their own calendar will depend on how much activity they can not merely tolerate, but also find enjoyment from.
- find the "good thing" about each of your commitments. Sometimes the "good thing" is time to do something you never find time to do at home. Sitting in the dentist's waiting room while kids have their appointments gives me time to read that book I've got sitting on my night stand. Other people might bring cross-stitch, knitting, quilt-piecing projects to fill the time. I also like to bring a pad of paper and pen, and detail the next day's activities, or plan the next month's dinner menus. In a grueling 1 1/2 hour wait during appointments this past month, I was able to plan the entire month of May's dinner menus. Had I not put that time to good use, I would have flipped through the waiting room's magazine selection for about 30 minutes, then grown restless, and watched the clock for the remaining hour. Another way to find that "good thing" for me, has been to bring an audio book, to listen to on long solo drives. I've had many late evening pick-ups from university for one of my daughters this quarter. The bus schedules don't suit late nights on campus. So, I find myself driving downtown to pick up one daughter, on a regular basis. Instead of bemoaning these long, long drives, I bring a book on CD with me, to listen to, not just while on the road, but while sitting in the parked car waiting for my daughter to finish up with ushering duties.
- schedule "vacations" from your normal routine. Instead of a week of household chores, I've set aside entire weeks to tackle large chores, such as getting our outdoor area ready for summer cook-outs. I gave myself permission to let the mopping and dusting slide for the week. And, I recently just "gave" myself a two-week vacation from blogging (and other projects). I was able to accomplish quite a lot by not having my thoughts split between so many areas of daily life.
- give yourself a needed day off from all work every once and again. I am trying harder with this one. My goal is once a fortnight to do something just for the joy of it. One day while cleaning out the junk drawer, I came upon a bottle of my kids' bubbles. It was a beautiful, sunny April day. So, I went outside and blew bubbles for about 30 minutes. This was sheer joy, and could in no way be construed as "work". So worth it. And I would suggest you try this some day when life feels to be nothing but drudge work. For joy on a larger scale this month, what day could be better for doing something just for oneself than Mother's Day? I have plans to visit a local botanical garden with my family on this Mother's Day. Have you planned anything special for your day this month?
- in at-home work time, work at something enjoyable that still fills the bill of doing "work". This I am very good at. I love baking, and I often will bake and skip the other housework for the day (okay, so maybe that's a bit out of balance, the house could use at least a pick-up at some point in the day). When I combine fun with productivity, life feels good. A few days ago, I made the year's supply of vanilla extract, and thoroughly enjoyed the entire process. I have a particular method for getting maximum flavor from vanilla beans. I'll post that in later this month, as well as how I get vanilla beans for free (and you can too). I also took the time to make a huge batch of pie pastry which I rolled and put in tins for the freezer. In going through my selection of pie tins and plates, I counted 8 assorted pie tins. So I made a double batch of dough (enough for 10 single crusts), filled all 8 tins, then rolled up the remaining 2 portions onto empty waxed paper and foil cardboard tubes (I can use these 2 for top crusts). (Here's a pie pastry post from a couple of years ago. There's a link to the fool-proof recipe I use there as well.) Summer pie season is underway here, with the rhubarb harvest in full swing. Having the crusts all ready to go means I can throw together a pie in about 10 minutes.
In late April, I made quite a bit of progress in the area of unwinding my too-tight life. I hope to carry this through May, as well. One change I am making with creative savv is I'll be posting fewer times per month, but still on a regular basis. As I'll be writing fewer blog posts, I'll be using facebook more often for some of my smaller frugal activities. Yes, it looks like May shall be a very good month, indeed!
Now get out those bubbles and start blowing!
Cheers, my dear friends,
Lili
