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Tuesday, March 16, 2021

Love Languages and Gifts

Do you recall that book about love languages? I was thinking about the book in connection with how my family celebrates special occasions. I know some of you have commented that giving gifts on special occasions is not really a thing in your family. I hope I haven't made you feel badly by posting about my own approach to giving gifts for holidays and special occasions.

According to that book, there are five basic ways of showing and receiving love, named love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. I think most of us would say that we respond to more than one love language. In my own family, we all enjoy giving and receiving gifts. That doesn't mean that we're greedy people or too stuff-focused. It's just one of our ways to demonstrate our love for one another. 

I was also thinking about how my family doesn't really spend money on ourselves, aside from basic living needs. The things on which many other families do spend hold less appeal for the members of my own family, including personal indulgences. So, giving gifts is a way for us to remind one another that we are each worthy of having something special every once in a while. It's just how we are and how we approach holidays and birthdays. It's our love language.

I also like to express and receive love through acts of kindness (often baking or sewing for a loved one or taking over someone's chores) and spending quality time with my family members (I think I've blogged a lot about that subject).

Other families and individuals express and are receptive to love in other equally valid ways.  And I think this is reflected in how they engage on a day to day basis, as well as how they celebrate special events. Have you thought about your own love language?


  1. Yes, we are the ones that don't give a lot of gift giving for holidays. But we have a "love language" that we give all year long for whatever reason or no reason. Some of those include filling our kids pantry when moving into a new home, a tank of gas, new windshield wipers, shopping in my pantry or freezer, making meals for them for a later date. Putting money in their Bible's to find years/months/days later.

    Love languages are many and ours works for us. Thank you, Lili, for prompting me to think today.

    1. Hi Alice,
      Those are lovely ways to show your love to your family.

  2. Yes, I remember that book. It was required reading for premarital counseling when my husband and I were engaged. It's helpful for understanding how you and others are wired. In my family, I think all are important, but acts of service and quality time are definitely at the top. I suspect it has made marital life easier for my husband and me--we are wired similarly and that makes it easier to understand that, for example, my husband is showing love by washing dishes on "my" night to do it instead of taking the gesture for granted. It's an interesting topic.

    1. Hi Kris,
      Sweet hubby to wash the dishes on your night!

  3. While I appreciate a gift as much as the next person, I appreciate even more time with family and small gestures that make my life easier or more enjoyable. The rest of the family seems to be on the same page. Things, like my husband volunteering to clean the litter boxes most of the time or my son finishing my laundry when he sees it sitting, make me happy. I try to regularly do similar things.

    1. Hi Live and Learn,
      those are all beautiful gestures of love.

  4. I've never read that book. Maybe I shall find it at the library and do so!

    Interesting you would post this tonight. I think our family has several love languages, similar to those mentioned. My husband, however, showed me lots of love tonight. I dropped a 2 quart (plastic) jar of chicken broth moving it in the refrigerator. I don't even know how it happened. The lid came off and every.single.drop.of the two quarts went on my kitchen floor. The floor was flooded! I was so flummoxed I couldn't even think what to do. My dear husband came to the rescue and cleaned it up for me. As upset as I was, I was glad that it wasn't the Brunswick stew I had made which was in a similar container beside it. So I definitely was feeling the love tonight.

    And, another time...I've got a very handsome husband, if I say so myself. I came home from work one day and told him he had never looked sexier than he did at that moment, standing there with the vacuum in his hand!! So yes, lots of kinds of love languages around :) XO

    Everyone have a good evening!

    1. Hi Lynn,
      Your knight in shining armor -- cleaning up the broth mess and vacuuming.

    2. Lili, indeed! Lynn


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