 |
| Frugal dinner for two. We could have eaten out, but chose to stay in for a home-cooked meal of leftover meatloaf on macaroni (my cheapest pasta shape), smothered with homemade Italian tomato sauce, with garden green beans on the side. Dessert was a home-made apple crisp made with our tree apples. |
Today was all about making salsa. I've now put up 16 pints of salsa for this coming year. I'm glad to have scratched salsa off my list. I could buy salsa. The store brands are not that expensive. However, we like my homemade salsa, and we love that there's always a jar at the ready for meals and snacks. And the $$ savings is nice, too.
So while de-seeding peppers and chopping vegetables I was thinking about all of the reasons we continue to live a frugal life, my motivators for frugality. The list is long, warning. But it sums up why my husband and I have chosen to be frugal.
My reasons are primarily financial (not a surprise), but a few reasons are more ideological. Some reasons have to do with parenting, although one could argue that everything we do that our kids can see is parenting through example. Some reasons have to do with my place in God's kingdom, how I love the world through generosity with what I've been given. Some reasons have to do with my personal fears and what ifs.
In no particular order, here's my list:
- to stretch limited finances to cover all our current needs
- to never go into debt and risk losing what we have gained due to missed loan payments
- to save for our future when we'll be less able to work and may need more hired assistance
- to pay for a few luxuries in our lives - well-maintained home, garden, and car, plus a vacation every few years
- to give generously to those in need and to support our church and missions
- to leave something to our children and causes that we support
- a challenge to do what culture has said is impossible -- American dream on one income
- to allow one person to focus on nurturing the family, home, and giving time to others
- to set an example for my kids and others around me
- to be responsible and pay for the things and services we use
- to save for unforeseen circumstances or needs
- in the past, but pay for education for our children without taking out loans (ours or theirs)
- to offer financial help to any of our family when they need it
- to not be wasteful -- I abhor waste, it really gets to me
- for a mentally, spiritually, and physically healthier lifestyle
I have days when I wonder "why bother? Why not just live my life spending without thinking?" Then I think of my motivations. This (almost) always triggers reason in my mind.
Our motivations have shifted over the years, obviously. In our early years of marriage, being frugal was a matter of survival. Over time we've slowly built up a cushion, so we aren't living on the edge any longer. Our focus has changed from children's basic needs, to older children's educations, and now to our own future retirement.
I may have missed a motivator or two. But I think my list hits all of the most important reasons for our frugality.
So, what motivates your frugality?
Wow! Your list of "reasons" are exactly what I would have written. I have a few changes and that is I want to give to my children now and not after I'm gone. Second, we like to give to causes that are dear to us now and not when we're gone. The reason is that mother in law has a will that we have all read and the way it was written and the place where she lives now, being so costly, will quite possibly not leave anything for those special causes that she lists. Kind of sad, so with that in mind, I like to give now instead. It's crazy how much living in a nursing home or specifically in a specialized type of care she needs is sucking her finances. Even the grandchildren she loved so dearly won't see a penny. Now I know it's not about the money but she carefully laid those wishes in a will especially for them but that is after she dies and all her debt (of nursing facilities) are paid.
ReplyDeleteAlice
Hi Alice,
DeleteThanks for sharing your thoughts. You're right about the high cost of assisted ;living. I guess that hasn't been prominent in my own thoughts as both of my parents died fairly young, so I don't have this same perspective. So I thank you for sharing today.
My reasons are very similar to yours, Lili. Alice's comments also resonate with me because I watched the money-suck of elder care when my parents were aging and going through health crises. It would be nice if there was money leftover when my husband and I die for our kids to inherit, but we are currently more focused on getting them through school debt-free. We also want to be able to fund our own needs for ourselves as we age--I have had friends who have had to help financially fund their parent's care (and/or provide housing for them) and it's a LOT of responsibility. I'm hoping that at least we can have the money aspect of our needs as we get older covered.
ReplyDeleteHi Kris,
DeleteYes, stage of life has changed what my thoughts were concerning our frugality, too. Education for all of the kids was expensive, as I know you're going through right now with both of yours away at school. Alice's and your points about elder care being costly is important to consider. As I said to Alice, both of my parents died young (mother at 47 and father at 70), so I hadn't thought my and my husband's late-life care could eat up anything we wanted to go to our kids. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, today, Kris.
You have made a good and thorough list, Lili. I have been motivated by most of the same things and circumstances - retirement, college, helping others, being available when my kids needed it (one salary), but the two that are at the top of my thinking is that I don't like to waste, and having secure future. Some that comes from just being smart and some of that comes from my natural anxiety.
ReplyDeleteHi Live and Learn,
DeleteI can relate to a natural anxiety being one of the pushes toward a more frugal lifestyle. I know as a believer I should just trust God to provide, but I also feel that I should be a good steward so there's always enough money for unforeseen circumstances. And since we don't know the exact cost of those unforeseen things, I tend to over-save for them.
Yeah, waste is a big thing for me, too. Perhaps this comes from the way we were raised. I don't know what your household was like as a child, but I'm from the clean-the-plate crowd. But it's more than just food waste. If an item seems to still have use in it, we'll continue to use it, repair/mend it/keep it going as long as possible.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this, Live and Learn.
Good post, interesting subject.
ReplyDeleteI'll chime in on saving for care for one's later years. My mom had a reasonable retirement fund and even worked part time until her late 70s. Then she had a series of medical emergencies and ended up in a wheelchair full time. It was shocking to me to see how fast all of these medical and assisted living bills ate up all of her funds. In the end, she was able to get accepted into Medicaid, and now lives in a small group home for seniors (the other option was a nursing home). It's not a perfect situation, but she's doing well. I am so thankful this all worked out, because it certainly could have been a lot worse. (I'm trying to focus on the positive here, but the reality of going through all of this with my mom - I serve as her power of attorney - was extremely stressful, even more so than my divorce).
Anyway, one of my motivations for frugality is to keep myself healthy and have enough of a financial cushion to have the funds to pay for any care I would need. I am working towards this, but it's not something you can fully control.
Another motivation for frugality is the freedom to make choices. I don't want to work a full time job behind a desk. I currently work part time as a massage therapist and have another job as well. Not to say that I have this all figured out - I don't. I recently got divorced and am trying to figure out my life again in my mid 50s. My frugal skills are certainly coming in handy.
Hi Tina,
DeleteThat does sound like it was stressful going through everything with your mom. I'm so glad for you and her that she's in a good living situation now. Assisted living is so expensive.
You make a great point, that being frugal allows you to have choices in your career. I'm happy for you to be able to choose what you do to earn to support yourself. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Tina.
Like Alice, we decided to give our children and grandchildren now when the help can make a difference, rather than after we are gone. Selfishly, we also have the pleasure of giving while we are alive. This motivates me to live very frugally. I don't think we need to save more because we hardly buy anything, so whatever I save by being wise with money directly benefits our loved ones. And I'm also enjoying donating to causes these days. With Medigap, I don't think we'll have to worry about enormous out of pocket medical. Although we don't have LTC insurance, I'm hoping someone will live with us like we did for my dad. One day, home health care may be covered under Medicare, which makes sense as boomers will need more assistance at home.
ReplyDeleteLaura
Hi Laura,
DeleteI can really appreciate your approach of helping your kids and grandkids now, when they may need it more, rather than after you're gone (or in addition to). It was a gift of love to care for your father in his later years. That is what I'd hope for from one of my kids. Time will tell if it happens that way.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Laura.
I just wanted to add a comment to the group about long term elder care. My Mother had Alzheimer's disease and two broken (repaired) hips. I took care of her at home for ten years. At that point, she needed 24 hour care. She lived another 5 years in a assisted living facility and died at age 92. I was her power of attorney, and I agree with the other poster it was very stressful. But it's also the financial aspect that affected d her finances and mine. I think everyone has to at least think about eldercare as they age. Cari--Chicago area
ReplyDeleteHi Cari,
DeleteI think your caring for your mother at home for ten years before she entered assisted living was a real act of love. I can understand needing to place her into more comprehensive care for her final years.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Cari.
Elder care is hugely expensive, even beyond what a LTC policy provides. Our neighbor's mother entered assisted living in 2020 which was covered by LTC, but that ran out this year. To preserve her assets, she left assisted living and now her son and DIL are watching her full-time. I don't know how it's possible to completely cover the financial burden of elder care. The only options for us that I see are being cared for at home by our loved ones or being on financial assistance with Medicaid. We definitely don't have enough money to afford assisted living to the end, and even having LTC may not be enough.
ReplyDeleteThese days, since turning 70, my thoughts have been focused on how to navigate the last chapter of my life.
Laura
Laura, I think about how I will be cared for in my later years, too. It is something we need to think about and discuss with our families now, I believe.
Delete