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| My Thanksgiving cactus plants are just now blooming. I started these plants from cuttings poked into pots of dirt a few years ago. They now look like respectable plants. |
For me, the anxiety moment is the last hour before our guests arrive. I've never come up with a way to make these last minutes less stressful. I'm trying to get the food ready while keeping the kitchen clean and also while getting myself put together (dressed, makeup, and hair). After everyone arrives, I do enjoy the gathering, even the cleaning up afterward.
I was thinking about this today as I was making our Thanksgiving meal plans. I really began to dread the day. Even with preparing dishes ahead and finagling some help from family, there are still many tasks that need completing at the last moment. This is the aspect I dread most about entertaining.
How about you? Do you have an aspect or part of hosting a holiday meal that you dread or have anxiety over? And do you have any tips for dealing with the last-minute rush of getting everything completed just before guests arrive?
There are just certain things that can't be done until the last minute, so I think there's always going to be some kind of rush. The way that I minimize it is to a have a plan and to get help. I assign family members jobs ahead of time and have jobs ready when people ask what they can do to help. Sometimes, that's easier said than done because it's easier to just do a job than explain it, but that's where the planning comes in. Also, we make sure that we have our showers, etc., done a couple of hours before people show up. Also, if people ask what they can bring, I take them up on it. That way we're not doing all of the cooking ourselves. My husband is smoking the turkey the day before, cutting it up, and we'll just heat it up in the oven. There's not a big presentation of a golden bird, but we did it this way last year and it worked well. Everyone was happy. You can do the same with ham. We also do make ahead mashed potatoes. They can be made days/weeks ahead and frozen. The biggest thing we're trying to figure out right now is if we can get everyone into one room for the meal. We're having 13 people over this year for Thanksgiving. If we push all of our living room furniture aside, add a couple of tables - maybe.
ReplyDeleteBut this year is going to be easy compared to last year when we had 30 people. We not big entertainers, so that really stretched us. It went well, but it's not something I want to so all the time.
Good luck, Lili. Although it's hard to do sometimes, just remember, the world does not come to an end if it's not perfect. People are usually just happy to be together and glad that you've opened your home for them to do that. Food is important, but not as important as the fellowship.
Hi Live and Learn,
DeleteYou have some good advice here. I could get myself "ready" long before instead in the last minutes. Intellectually I know it's not the food that matters, but I do get caught up in trying to make everything super special. I'll have to try to ease up on that thinking.
Good luck to you, too. It sounds like it'll be a fun day for your family.
I'm with you, Lili, the time period before the guests arrive is the worst for me. Like both you and L&L, I try to plan ahead. I'll tell you something that didn't work for me last year. I hosted Christmas eve for my siblings/various nieces and families. I think we had 13 people, so not a huge crowd, but I have a small house, so it feels very full when you get more than 8 or 9 people in it. I had a baked potato bar--we supplied the baked potatoes and the chili to use as a topping, and had guests bring other toppings. Our usual order of events is to attend a church service together and then gather at one of our homes (either mine or my brother's) and eat supper. Well, unfortunately, I have a couple of family members who are typically late, no matter what event, and they were significantly late for dinner. Problem was, they had key ingredients for the baked potato bar. The difficulty was compounded because my niece's husband, who is a firefighter, needed to leave early for his work shift. My family member who had arrived late hadn't bothered to prepare her contribution so that had to be dealt with (while I was trying to keep everything the right temperature for eating). I was stressed and irritable. All to say .... in the future, I would simplify the meal plan (in the past I've done soup/bread with Christmas cookies--fast and can be made ahead and kept warm in a crockpot) and if I did have people bring things, it would be items that wouldn't be missed if they didn't arrive on time (or at all).
ReplyDeleteWhile we are on the topic of entertaining, I'm wondering if people have techniques for dealing with guests bringing lots of dessert foods and then wanting to leave them with the host (me). I have had this happen both with family and friends, and while I appreciate people bringing things, I find that people bring overwhelming amounts of goodies--far too many to be eaten up in a timely manner, and frankly, I have enough trouble managing my weight without all of the temptation around. I have tried to tell them that dessert is covered and they don't need to bring anything, but to no avail. I could use a few graciously worded phrases to avert this crisis. :) Thanks in advance, friends!
My husbands family is unreliable in what they are bringing. They are either late or bring something different than they said. I have learned to only ask them to bring something that is not critical to the meal. And we've learned never to let one brother volunteer for appetizers because he is always late.
DeleteAs for extra desserts, I've had that problem, too. However, I send some home with others, put some in the freezer, and find somewhere else to take them. Work is always a popular place, or the fire department, your mail carrier, etc. Or college kids always like sweets. Maybe you could send some back with your kids.
Hi Kris,
DeleteThat must have been really frustrating last year. I hope you come up with a menu that will take into consideration your habitually tardy relatives. Soup and bread with cookies does sound like a good one. Could you ask the always late ones if they could help with clean-up in lieu of bringing food?
As for leftover desserts, if your church does a coffee hour after service, maybe you could donate the goodies there? I second the idea to send your kids back to uni with the goodies, too. Good luck!
I have in the past hosted Thanksgiving and Christmas and my key is to keep it simple. I don't roast a turkey because we're not fond of that but instead do chicken and ham. Simple sides and simple dessert. This year we're traveling and my daughter was asked to bring homemade dinner rolls so we're making them together. We weren't assigned anything being from out of town. I think I'll just do a lot of cuddling with my grandson and I'll even forfeit eating if need be! This grandparent stuff is pretty awesome!
ReplyDeleteHi Alice,
DeleteKeeping it simple will be my mantra this Thanksgiving. Thank you for that advice.
Lucky you -- a grand baby to cuddle sounds lovely. I hope you get a month's worth or more of cuddles in over the Thanksgiving holiday.
Oh Alice, I’m with you-the grandparent stuff IS awesome! I’m thoroughly enjoying our little granddaughter (our only grandchild). The time with her is never enough! You get your cuddles and I’m looking forward to mine this weekend:)
DeleteHi, Lili -- When I taught both DSs to cook, we talked a lot about the challenges of getting all the food to the table at the same/right time, and in the same/correct condition/temperature, etc. In some types of cuisine/meal, it can be THE hardest part, in my opinion; so, of course, a special holiday/company meal would be the trickiest. I love everyone's ideas and thoughts on this, and I've used some of them. Like L and L, I get gussied-up early, and figure any smudge, frizz, or spatter that eludes my apron will just show I've had a busy morning preparing for your arrival. (I also find that dressing/making up for the cooking, not just the "event", helps kick off my holiday mood, and is my gift to my guys, as well as myself.) I also set the table for dinner as soon as we're done with breakfast, since we usually eat appetizers in the living room. I've also given myself permission to use some conveniences, like Bob's Red Mill Potato Flakes (no additives, just dried potato) sometimes for mashed; and I usually try to plan for both easy and more-complex dishes (because many easy dishes/sides are just as tasty as the complicated ones.) I actually LOVE cooking Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, etc., and I made turkey and dressing and such, even when I lived alone. LOL (So does one of our DSs.) But over the years, especially when I lived in a house without double-ovens (thank Heaven for double-ovens!) and/or have had limited stovetop burners, I have gotten in the habit of making a tentative cooking schedule for the big day, and a day or two before, with notes all on one page about my anticipated prep time, the cook times and temps of each dish, even sometimes the pots and pans I'll need to use. This helps me visualize the process, and think through potential conflicts ahead of time. It's especially helpful when I add some new dish I've never made before. And the other thing, which doesn't work out as well now, because we have an eat-in kitchen, but still works for me, is that I clean up cutting boards, pots and pans, utensils, etc., as I finish, have time, and know I'll need them again for another dish. But I don't try to keep the kitchen clean. I'm a messy cook, and sort of a messy person, so if you come to my house on a big-cooking day, expect to see some disarray! :) My menfolk are actually really good about getting in the suds as their "thank you" for a great meal; but even if the pots and pans wait for first thing next morning (my personal preferred dishwashing time), I am (fortunately, I guess -- I know other, better housekeepers aren't) able to accept that as the price of doing that kind of cooking, and don't stress over achieving kitchen perfection (during or right after the meal.) If everybody gets served, leaves full and happy, and we have some great fellowship, that's good enough for me; and I like to rest and chat and enjoy my guests once I've set out the dinner food. I wish everyone happy holiday meals! Sara
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