You all know my current problems. Well last night, in my final dream of the night, my subconscious put everything into perspective.
A voice asked me to draw a version of myself on the wall. Which I did (and frankly, I'm a much better artist than this rendering, well maybe not "much better"). Then that voice asked me to draw a box showing how big my current problem was, which I did in red ink.
The voice asked me what the size of the box was. I replied "it's 5 feet by 5 feet." The voice asked how big (tall) I am, and is this a realistic representation of my problem?
That's when I woke up. I'm 5'3", by the way. So I think the message that my subconscious gave me was that I was thinking my problem is almost as big as I am. In that moment, I realized I had inflated my problem significantly and allowed it to take up too much mind space.
While I don't think we should shame ourselves out of our fears, I do think sometimes my anxious self needs to do a reassessment.
I will no doubt be somewhat anxious the day of my extraction and reasonably afraid. I've come to accept that I will not be at ease with it all. That's just how I am. It's okay to face something difficult and not be at ease with it.
By the way, I still don't know when this will happen. My medical doctor has to clear me for this, as I have some medical issues that need addressing to ensure a successful outcome. I'll give you all a heads up before hand, and I expect I'll be offline for a few days. Or maybe not. Maybe you'll be reading some rather curious and comical posts by me in the hours following, when I'll be a bit loopy from pain killers.
Anyway, this isn't at all about frugal living. And I apologize if you were hoping for more frugal thoughts and less about my dreams. Maybe I'll have something better tomorrow.
Until then . . .
Amazing how God helps us put things in perspective via our dreams. You will remain in my prayers and thoughts!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Linda.
DeleteI generally don't think dreams mean much, but every once in while I have an aha moment from one just like you did. Lili, you are an incredibly strong person, and you will get through this procedure okay. Will you be a little nervous? Yes. Will you experience some pain? Yes. But you will handle it and in a few days, you'll wonder what you were worried about. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI don't have many dreams that I think mean much (at least I hope not for the bad ones anyway) but once in a while I hear/feel a voice that tells me to "stop", or "wait", or "not now" during a time I want to say something out of haste. It's not really a voice but perhaps my conscience. I think live and learn is correct that you will be nervous, have pain and when it's all done will wonder why you worried so much. I have been told I need 7 crowns due to bad dentistry in the 60s and 70s. I have 4 done and 3 to go. I'm quite anxious about this because I really don't have my own teeth anymore but not total dentures either but they are still fake teeth which I'm not excited about.
ReplyDeleteAlice
Hi Alice,
DeleteAs much as I'm not looking forward to having extraction followed by implant, the way I look at having teeth that are not my own is this -- teeth are tools. They help us get the nutrients we need. If I need a special "tool" to do this that I no longer have, then that's the best I can do. Even though some of your teeth may now be covered by crowns, I think you should still consider them as your teeth. They will be serving you and only you for the rest of your earthly life. But I will add, I did have a sorry-for-myself moment over losing this tooth. I'm okay with it now. But I'm not looking forward to the process.
Good luck with your next 3 crowns. They will turn out beautifully, and they will work as very good tools for you.
Wow, that was an amazing dream. It's almost like a therapist crept into your head and had you do a mental health exercise. I am going to try to remember this technique for my own anxious thoughts. And for me, that would be a darn good illustration of a woman. :)
ReplyDeleteI like the veering away from the frugal theme in this post. I feel like it's addressing where we spend our thought life, which to me is a similar process to analyzing where I spend my money. I know that, similar to how I have overspent money on occasion, I have also "overspent" anxious thoughts and I need to do certain things to rein that tendency in.
Hi Kris,
DeleteOh, I know what you mean about that "overspending" anxiety. I've definitely had those thoughts. I try to remind myself that I'm human and make lots of mistakes and errors in judgement. Fortunately, God continues to take care of me and provide for me even when I make big financial blunders.
What an amazing dream! Here's hoping it all works out well for you, Lili -- may it be smooth sailing. I'm curious how your tooth broke in the first place -- I once cracked a molar eating oatmeal of all things. Then years later I pulled the crown off that same tooth eating salt water taffy! The dentist assured me that was not supposed to happen, lol -- but now I pass up the taffy.
ReplyDeleteWho knew oatmeal could be such a dangerous thing to eat! I'm not sure exactly. I just noticed a crack in the tooth, by feeling it. It was the dentist who examined it and did X-rays that indicated it was a fractured tooth. I believe it happened while eating just a normal meal or snack. I really can't identify one particular thing I ate or bit down on. My teeth on that side have never lined up perfectly for chewing. So if I bit down in just the wrong way, I could have fractured the tooth like that.
DeleteYeah, I pass up on taffy, too. There are enough other delicious foods and treats that won't cause dental issues. Sorry and your tooth and crown.
That was an amazing dream. I rarely have dreams that are helpful. This would make a good children's story to tell with the beautiful illustration. I will instantly remember your sketch whenever I build mountains from molehills.
ReplyDeleteI know you will be fine. Losses ( losing your healthy tooth as well as the time, expense and suffering) will be a distant memory soon. Sometimes I'm stumped by the capacity we humans have for handling losses.
Have a beautiful day,
Laura
Thank you, Laura, for your kindness and wise words. I know sometime soon, this will all be behind me.
DeleteHave a lovely rest of your day!