From my portable greenhouse . . .

This is what I was able to glean from my flats of lettuce seedlings, in the portable greenhouse on the deck. It's the thinnings -- about 3 cups of loosely-packed, baby lettuce. I wanted to give each little seedling the best chance for growing healthy and big, so thinned to 1 seedling per planting cell. I'll be able to do this with another half-flat next week, too!

I added this little bit of lettuce to our tostadas, last night. I had been wanting some fresh lettuce, and here, now I have it -- only about 2 months earlier than if I'd started seeds directly in my garden!

Thank you for all of your kind words, yesterday! My daughter is feeling better today. So far, no one else has symptoms. I am praying it stays that way!

I'll get back on track, here, in the next day or so! Have a great day!

Just like that, all of my day's plans changed

As I mentioned on facebook yesterday, one of my daughters came down with a stomach virus late Sunday afternoon. When you hear a family member gagging while running to the bathroom, you just know this is going to be bad. But such is this life.

Norovirus has been in the news, here in Seattle, as well as around other parts of the country this winter. University of Michigan has had a nasty outbreak of the virus in just the last couple of days. Norovirus is a highly contagious stomach virus, once rumored to be limited to cruise ships and other densely populated spots. But now it's popping up in office buildings, senior centers, schools, restaurants and shopping malls. Winter is peak season for its spread. So, I've been treating my daughter's illness as if it is norovirus, just to be on the safe side.

Prevention of spread of norovirus is essential

The key to preventing spread of the virus is isolating the patient, as soon as the first symptom is present, from the rest of the community (family, in our case), and keep them isolated for 1 or 2 days post symptoms, as the virus can still be spread, even when the patient begins to seem better, vigilance with personal hygiene (handwash, handwash, handwash -- more effective than hand sanitizer), and disinfecting all surfaces (textiles as well as hard surfaces) the patient could have spread germs through either direct contact or airborne particles, both while symptomatic and while seemingly well. The norovirus has a 1 to 2-day incubation period, meaning patients can transit the disease before the symptoms are obvious.

So, like I said, just like that, all of my day's plans changed.

My daughter shares a room with her sister. The first step was to set up a place where she could sleep and study, away from the patient. She moved into the family room for a couple of days. I've been designated as caretaker of the sick one, to prevent as few people as possible from falling ill.

Minimizing illness with the sick one

The main risk to norovirus is dehydration. One site I read said to wait 20 to 30 minutes after vomiting has ceased before introducing liquids (but of course, if vomiting persists beyond a few hours, or if the patient has other health complications, it's wise to seek a doctor's opinion early on). And then, only clear, non-acidic liquids. Orange juice is out (too acidic), apple juice is a maybe, if watered down in a 50/50 mix. Electrolyte solutions are good, especially ones like Pedialtyte. Watered down chicken broth is also recommended. And for some individuals, flat, non-caffeinated soda pop (like lemon-lime or ginger ale), in small amounts seems to help. You can speed up the rate at which soda pop loses its carbonation by pouring one glass into another, back and forth. I keep a 2-liter of lemon-lime soda in the back of the pantry for just this type of occasion.

So, we got my daughter through the night, on sips of flat lemon-lime soda. By morning, she was looking a bit better.

After seeing to her comfort in the morning, I set out to disinfect areas of the house where she had been, and get an early start on laundry. On facebook, I mentioned the CDC's recommendations for disinfecting, using chlorine bleach mixed with water, from about 1 teaspoon to 1  1/2 tablespoons of household bleach mixed with 1 cup of water. As the bleach doesn't have to be exact, I eyeballed, using the cap to the bleach container as a measuring spoon/cup, and poured into a glass measuring cup, then adding water. I dipped a rag into this solution and went around the house wiping off surfaces (CDC says to allow to air dry for 10 minutes). I did this every time my daughter got up. Also, the CDC says that alcohol-based hand sanitizers and 3% hydrogen peroxide are not as effective as chlorine bleach, against the norovirus.

Some things I may have overlooked, if it had not been for reading some info online:

• wear gloves when cleaning, emptying the trash containers, picking up tissues and dishes, and while gathering clothing and linens for laundry
• after taking off gloves, wash your hands again
• wash textiles as well as hard surfaces, this includes bath rugs, mats, towels, bedding and clothing in hot water and tumble dry
• run an empty cycle on the washing machine, using bleach in hot water to disinfect your washer. Norovirus can live inside your washing machine for a few days, after washing contaminated textiles.
• the virus remains contagious even after symptoms have subsided, for a few days (as few as 3 to up to 2 weeks, according to the health department -- hygiene of the patient is so important, to prevent spread)
• people who have norovirus should not prepare food for other people for at least 2 days after recovery
• if you have a dishwashing machine, use it for all dishes, cutlery and glassware. If there's a sanitize or hi-temp function on your dishwasher, use it. Hand-washed dishes are more likely to harbor the virus, as most of us can't tolerate the high temperature necessary to kill it, while hand-washing our dishes.
• replace all toothbrushes for family members who share the same bathroom as the patient (another good reason for buying super cheap toothbrushes from Dollar Tree -- I feel no regret having to use up an entire 6-count package of toothbrushes, due to this illness in the family)
• although alcohol-based sanitizers are not as effective as bleach, it's better than nothing. So I kept a baggie of 91% isopropyl alcohol saturated paper towels on the bathroom counter, for my daughter to clean up any mess after herself, wipe off door knobs, flush handles and faucet handles, then dispose of the used towel, each time she used the bathroom. This meant I didn't have to get out the bleach after every single time she got up.

The post-vomiting diet (sorry, there's no nicer way to put that)

When it appeared that all of the really nasty symptoms were over . . .

I'm sure you've all heard clear liquids are best for someone with a stomach virus. But this doesn't have to be limited to beverages. It can include gelatin, popsicles and bowls of broth, for a change of pace. And towards the end of that first day, I do well adding rice milk to the round-up (but not soy, almond or dairy milk). For my daughter, I got a batch of blackberry gelatin started in the morning (using frozen blackberries, simmered with water for a couple of minutes, strained to use only the juice, then sweetened, and set with plain gelatin), and I set a cup of brown rice to soak, to make rice milk later in the day. I also found a quart of homemade chicken stock in the freezer, to season mildly, and serve for her lunch. I'll see how she's feeling by late afternoon. If she feels up to it, I'll make some rice milk pudding for her dinner, as pudding is one of her favorite foods, and made with rice milk it should be easy to digest.

If it seems that she handled those foods okay yesterday, then today I'll add to this menu, with a couple of items from the BRAT diet (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast). I'll use the rice pulp from making homemade rice milk, to make a thin rice porridge for breakfast. And I'll make some applesauce from frozen apple chunks to go with chicken broth for lunch.

It's a lot of work, taking care of one family member who is sick. But one thing I do know, if others in the family get the same virus, it will be a whole lot more work for me. I'd rather put in my work, upfront, than drag this out for weeks.

Time for forsythia cuttings

The forsythia is just right for taking cuttings in our yard, right now.

I wait to see a single opening blossom. Then I begin taking cuttings to bring indoors. Obviously, I take those first cuttings from branches which overhang the paths and make themselves a nuisance to walk by. So, basically killing 2 birds, here. Neatening up the walkways, and bringing blooms inside to enjoy.

Can't pass up a free bouquet of flowers!

What's blooming in my garden these days

Snow crocus -- they bloom earlier, are smaller, and more delicate in color

Giant crocus -- I have several spots of purple and white giant crocus

Primroses -- my favorite is this pale yellow one, but there's also white, pink and purple in my yard

Grecian Windflower -- it's an early bloomer for us

Petite Daffodils -- the petite ones bloom several weeks before the larger daffodils. They're about 10-12 inches tall and do fine in pots for us.

Here's a swath of purple and white giant crocus, near the front door. It's visible from the driveway. On a sunny day, when the blooms are open, it's a cheery sight when driving in.

Next to the kitchen door is a tiny dooryard garden of white and purple primrose, purple hyacinth, petite daffodils, some ground cover with tiny white blooms, later in spring, evergreens, violets, and lots of moss and rocks.

Cheap & Cheerful Suppers and we're eating well this week!

Friday
Homemade wonton soup (yes, I made the wontons myself -- and this soup was so wonderful!)
Fruit salad of banana, orange segments and dried cranberries
Pumpkin pie

Saturday
Chicken, rice, spinach, onion enchiladas
Avocado
Chocolate chip cookies

Sunday Brunch
Heart-shaped pancakes with red currant syrup
Crustless mini quiches with spinach, onion and sausage
Bacon
Fruit salad
Cream puffs filled with frozen strawberries and whipped cream

Monday
We had a late lunch with my father-in-law and his wife, so when we came home, no one was hungry. I made a bowl of popcorn and some cocoa

Tuesday
Southwest pumpkin, bean, potato soup, topped with avocado, salsa and Cheddar cheese
Pumpkin muffins
Rhubarb-plum sauce

Wednesday
Egg salad sandwiches
Roasted tomato soup
Pumpkin pie (from freezer, last pie from the batch)

Thursday
Meatloaf with gravy (I made 2 and froze the other one)
Mashed potatoes (extras so I can make a turkey-rosemary-potato soup in a day or two)
Oven-roasted canned tomatoes
Grilled onions
Pumpkin pie


I have to thank YHF for her suggestions and encouragement on making wontons last week. The only time I have made wontons before, they were the cream cheese filled kind that you deep fry (popular at bridal showers in the 80s). In this week's wontons, I used ground pork, finely chopped fresh mushrooms, onion powder, garlic powder, ginger powder, soy sauce and corn starch. After forming them, I froze them all on a baking sheet, then transferred them to a ziploc bag for freezer storage. When making the soup, I used chicken stock, onion, garlic powder, onion powder, ginger powder, soy sauce, chive blossom vinegar, and salt as the broth. To that, I added a few tablespoons of thawed, frozen spinach, a beaten egg, frozen peas and some dices of tofu. I brought the liquid back to a simmer, and dropped in the wontons, set the time for 7 minutes, and put the cover on the pot. Once the timer rang, they were done. I have to say, this soup was restaurant-caliber, it was that good. I think it was a combo of the ground pork, garlic and mushrooms in the wontons. The flavors were fantastic together.

Saturday's enchiladas were no slouch meal, either. Thanks again to Belinda, from Frugal Workshop for her quick and easy enchilada sauce recipe (using paprika, chili powder, salt, oil and flour). Enchiladas are becoming a "regular" in our house. I love enchiladas, for their taste, of course, but also they're a great way to use up leftovers, deliciously. This week's enchiladas had the last of the chicken that I picked off the bones, when making stock for the wonton soup plus some thawed frozen spinach lingering in the fridge too many days, and leftover cooked rice. I added chopped onions, garlic powder, tomato sauce, onion powder, black olive juice and chili powder to the chicken/rice/spinach mix for flavor.

I listed Sunday's brunch menu, instead of a supper menu, as the brunch was our main meal of the day. Dinner was free burgers from Jack-in-the-box, and a buy one, get one medium curly fries w/coupon). I made sauteed spinach and green beans in some bacon fat at home to go with the burgers and fries. This dinner cost $3.49 for the one order of curly fries that we paid for. The burgers were so huge (double patties), that all of us cut ours in half before even taking one bite. We saved the halves for the next day. That $3.49 comes out of our "entertainment" budget, by the way.

Tuesday's soup was remarkably good, considering I was combining two thoughts, a pumpkin soup and a Mexi-inspired soup. And avocado on top of thick soup is quite good, in case you're needing to use up some ripening avocados.

I had some boiled eggs lingering in the fridge way too long. My boiled egg eater has gone off of boiled eggs! So we needed to use them this week. I made sandwiches both Wednesday night and for Thursday's lunch. The ones in Thursday's lunch also had some slices of ripe avocado on them. Creamy and delicious! And the roasted tomato soup sounds much fancier than it was. I used all of the canned tomato liquid (which was more like a puree), and diced up the last of the oven-roasted tomatoes from earlier in the week. To this, I added sauteed onions (which got a little over-done, but the burnt bits kind of blended in with the roasted tomatoes), onion powder, garlic powder, and salt. Good for something so simple.


What was on your menu this past week? Anything that really stood out as something you want to repeat soon?

February gardening in the Pacific Northwest -- indoors and out

I'm spending about an hour every day gardening, now. Some of that time is spent indoors, starting seeds or planting pots. The rest of the time is spent outdoors, planting some of those bulbs I potted, as well as pulling weeds and invasive plants.

Do you remember this pot from late November? I had trimmed various shrubs from around the property and poked branches into a pot of soil.

I took that wintery-looking pot, and cleaned out all of the branches. I repotted with spring-flowering bulbs. I spread out some newspapers and worked on the kitchen floor, where I was cozy warm. 

I have a nice stash of potted bulbs to choose from, these days. I just step out to my deck and pick a few little pots. This has worked so well for me, that I think I'll be doing this again next year (buying bulbs on clearance and potting, with the idea that I can use them in spring).

It's a bit of a mess right now. But once a rain washes the leaves, it should look much better. I used some pink hyacinth, purple grape hyacinth and mixed purple and white crocus in this pot. I also potted up a single pink hyacinth into a smaller pot for the bedroom window.

While gardening, I also moved more lettuce seedlings out to the portable greenhouse, and began some more vegetable seeds.

If you're following along with my vegetable garden for this year, so far:

• I've started a couple dozen green leaf lettuce seedlings (Black Seeded Simpson). I tried several old packets of seeds, and this one particular seed is the only type that has germinated. Green leaf lettuce it shall be!
• I've planted 2 dozen seed-starting cells with green onions. So far, about 1/3 of those cells has germinated. I'm hoping for more in the next few days.
• I've planted 18 seed-starting cells with green cabbage. They are just now beginning to germinate.
• Yesterday, I started 18 cells of kale seeds and 27 cells of Spanish white onions.

All of these are for transplanting into the garden in March. Last year, I direct seeded the onions and they just didn't have enough time, so I'm trying seedlings this year. The cabbage, as well was direct seeded last year, and I'm curious if we could be harvesting cabbage in summer, by starting the seeds indoors this year.

For plastic seed-starting cells, I'm reusing some that I've had in the garage for a long time. My flats have all cracked and now leak, but I did find some aluminum foil trays and large baking pans that I can use for flats, for the time being. (My husband brings these home after group lunches at work. I'm glad to finally find a use them.)

In the garden itself, shallots and garlic are up, the kale, Swiss chard and radish greens are still usable. And in the perennials, the chives are up and could be used, as well as the sorrel. The rhubarb is just now poking through the soil. I'm thinking rhubarb pie in about a month!

February gardening is easy and slow. There's no rush this time of year. However, when March rolls around, I'll definitely feel that rush to get everything going. It's nice to have this month to ease into the heavy gardening.

Clearance tablecloth shopping -- for the fabric

I bought this tablecloth on clearance at Marshall's, after Christmas. They had 2 and I'm kicking myself for not buying the other one, as well.

This is a Le Telerie Toscane tablecloth. They retail for about $90 for this large size (66 X 108). Marshall's had them on clearance for $15. Its exactly the fabric that I've been hoping to find, for our kitchen table to use in spring and summer. But it's way too large. I have noticed that the large sizes hang around, in clearance, whereas the smaller sizes (66 X 90) just don't.

However, "too large" is really not an issue for me. In fact, it's a bonus. This cloth is almost twice as large as I need for our table. I currently have it folded over on the table. When I cut it down to size, it will give me enough fabric to make an apron or some cloth napkins, to match.

Why I'm kicking myself for only buying one is that I could have made aprons or tea towels, as gifts with the second cloth. At 108 inches, there are 3 yards of 66 inch-wide fabric. It's thick, high quality fabric, too. It would definitely make a nice apron. At $15 for the whole cloth, that is $5 per yard.  A "home decor" fabric to be used to make a tablecloth or apron, of a nice toile print, would run at least $20/yd at the fabric store. Even with a coupon or great sale, we're still talking at least twice the price per yard, to buy a similar fabric at the fabric store.

So, I missed my chance to buy that second cloth. But it got me to thinking, clearance or thrifted high-quality tablecloths are a great source of fabric for making aprons or tea towels, fabric hot pads, or teapot cozies, to give as gifts. And if you happen to come across these large sizes, when what you need is something smaller for your table, if you don't mind doing a little sewing to cut it down in size, you would have leftover fabric for making something else to coordinate with the cloth.

(just for kicks, I googled Le Telerie Toscane toile burgundy tablecloth, and found this exact cloth on ebay for $89.90, and on Amazon for $89.99)

Our Valentine's Day brunch

So, this is what the spread looked like.

When you keep a well-stocked fridge, freezer and pantry, this can be pulled together with no extra trips to the store.

From left to right:

That's a fruit salad. My daughter peeled and segmented 3 oranges, then cut the segments into bite size. She added some dried cranberries and toasted almond slivers. I didn't add any dressing to it, but left it just unadorned and fresh-tasting.

Those are cream puffs. I decided to make these on Saturday, when my son mentioned that his girlfriend loves creamy things more than sweets. Cream puffs are quite easy to make. Here's the recipe that I use. The unfilled leftovers freeze well, to be pulled out and filled for another occasion, down the road. I made these cream puffs slightly smaller than my mom's recipe indicated. So it made 20, instead of 12 or 15. I thin it was a better size for a brunch. I filled them with a spoonful of frozen strawberries, each, then some whipped cream.

In the crockpot are heart-shaped pancakes. I made the pancakes before church, placed in layers in the crockpot with parchment paper in between layers, so they wouldn't all stick together in one clump, and then set the pot on KEEP WARM. They did great for a couple of hours. I noticed after more than a couple of hours that the edges became a bit crisp. But otherwise, good (and did stay warm). The syrup for the pancakes was melted red currant jelly, thinned with some water (for pink syrup).

I had a couple of packages of bacon in the freezer, bought sometime last summer or early fall. When I find a good deal, I buy a few packages and keep them in the freezer for holidays and special breakfasts.

Finally, those are mini quiches, crustless. I used 9 eggs and 1/2 cup of milk/cream to make 12 little quiches. to the eggs/milk, I added some grated cheddar, thawed frozen spinach, minced onion and 4 breakfast sausages, chopped small and fried in the skillet, first.

We also had orange juice, plus coffee or cocoa with our brunch. It all worked out nicely. I did most of the work on Saturday, so my Valentine's wouldn't be totally occupied with the brunch details. We ate in the kitchen, which turned out to be a very good thing, as our heat was out. And Saturday is our housecleaning day, so the kitchen was very neat and tidy for Sunday. Again, everything just all worked out.


This was the one meal that I cooked on Sunday. Our dinner in the evening was free burgers from Jack in the box.

Visiting family and needing a quick gift

So, later this morning, we'll drive up north to visit my father-in-law and his wife. I like to bring something, some small thing that's either edible or something to watch grow.

I had this on my mind for a few days last week, trying to think of something I could put together quickly.

And this is what I came up with, using what I had on hand. It's something they can put on their deck and watch grow and bloom, through the window over the next several weeks.

So, you know all of those bulbs that I planted, The pink hyacinths are coming up very nicely and look like they'll be the first of all of the bulbs to bloom. I had them all potted in rather small individual plastic pots. For a gift-y item, I put 3 of those bulbs into one larger pot. Then I added some of the grape hyacinths, also coming up well, and tied with a bow. For a price breakdown, I had the pots. The large hyacinth bulbs were originally $5.99 for 4 bulbs. I bought them at 75% off that price, $1.49 for all 4. I used 3, for a cost of $1.12, plus 59 cents for the grape hyacinth bulbs. The full pot of spring flowers to bloom, for under $2. I always have recycled ribbons on hand, so no real cost there, either.

A nice, sweet gift, with more love and thought, than cost. (And, truthfully, I really enjoyed playing with the dirt, even if just on the kitchen counter!)

A quick last-minute Valentine gift for the kids

What do my kids need more than anything these days? Money!! Here's a cute way to make a gift of cash for Valentine's Day.

Still on the origami thing . . .

This video shows how to fold a heart out of any denomination dollar bill.  I've used a five, here. It is super easy to fold. Took me all of 3 minutes from start to finish. I've secured the center fold with a foil-wrapped chocolate heart (using a loop of tape on the back of the candy heart. Crisp bills work best.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Cheap & Cheerful menus for the week, trying to use things up

Fried corn tortilla, topped w/ refried beans, cheese, avocado, salsa and olives,
along with oven-roasted canned tomatoes and fiesta corn

Friday
for the one person at home that evening:
Fried rice, with spinach, mushrooms, peas, tofu and egg
Pumpkin-ham soup
Chocolate chip cookies

Saturday
Black bean tacos
Tomato Florentine soup
Pumpkin pie

Sunday
for the two people at home that evening (February is shaping up to be a busy month):
Black bean tacos
Oranges
Pumpkin pie

Monday
Pork roast with garlic and rosemary
Rosemary potatoes
Spinach and onions sauteed with bacon bits
Pumpkin pie

Tuesday
Fried rice (with eggs, peas, peanuts, onions, garlic), topped with a garlic and peanut sauce
Tofu and orange salad in a ginger-soy vinaigrette

Wednesday
Fried corn tortillas, topped with
refried beans, cheese, avocado, salsa and black olives
fiesta corn (frozen corn sauteed with onion, green pepper and chili powder)
oven-roasted canned tomatoes

Thursday
baked chicken leg quarters
canned tomato, onion, garlic, green pepper and herb sauce
brown rice
pumpkin pie (from freezer)


If I had to choose which meal was my favorite this week, I think it would have been Monday's pork roast. I took a 1-lb section of a pork loin out of the freezer, and chopped off about 3 ounces, to grind in my food processor for filling for wontons. We'll be having homemade wonton soup for dinner tonight, using the wontons I made on Monday (in the freezer right now), and homemade chicken stock with the bones from last night's dinner.

I was able to buy avocados for 53 cents each last week, and am now beginning to use them. For produce, I have some frozen plums, rhubarb, blackberries. strawberries, pumpkin, peas, corn, green beans, and spinach. I finished off the frozen green peppers last night. In fresh, I have 1 large pumpkin, 1 butternut squash, a drawer full of onions, 20 lbs of potatoes, a handful of oranges and about 10 avocados. I also have lots of canned tomatoes, whole and in paste. In the garden, I have kale, chard, radish greens, beet greens, sorrel and watercress, in small amounts, each. Its not a lot of fruits and vegetables, but it seems to be just enough.

My freezers still look rather full. Part of that is a frozen turkey and 2 hams, plus 20 lbs of chicken leg quarters, some pork and ground beef. I also have a couple of jugs of milk in the freezers. All of this takes up space. I imagine as spring unfolds, at least one freezer will begin to look more empty.

I have a strange aversion to using the last of anything up, it seems. I was down to just a small baggie of frozen green peppers, and had to practically force myself to just use it all. Strange, I know. But that is what my freezer tends to look like, lots of small bags of different things. But I do know that I will have to use it all up, or have it become so freezer burned, that it's inedible.

The other thing that stands out to me is that I really do just make-do, this time of year, especially in the produce department. Canned whole tomatoes may not sound like a side-dish to go with dinner, but they can be. Most of the time, I think of canned tomatoes as an ingredient in a soup or chili, but halved and oven-roasted, they become a side dish to go with some other entree. Or with the tofu and orange segment salad, on Tuesday. I don't have a recipe for tofu and orange salad. I just was looking around the kitchen for what could go into a "salad" for a fresher tasting side, paired with the heavier fried rice and peanut sauce. Tofu and oranges stood out as possibilities for something fresh-tasting.

Sometimes, I stretch the idea of what constitutes a serving of fruit or vegetables. Pumpkin pie frequents my list of vegetable-serving stand-ins. Or, as in Wednesday night's dinner, as I was heaping the sliced olives onto the Mexican-inspired dish, I proclaimed to one daughter, "olives are a fruit tonight". Would it be simpler to stop by the grocery store to buy more traditional pairings to go with entrees? Yes. but making do will save me money, and I think it makes the menus more interesting as a bonus.


Over to you. What was on your menu this week? Did you have a favorite meal?

Big girl playtime

Remember earlier this week I said I was ordering a portable greenhouse for getting seedlings ready for planting in the garden?

This is what came in the mail, in the box, of course ;-) I put on some really great music (because everything is better with really great music), and got right to it.

Putting it together was reminiscent of my many years playing with Tinker Toys. Remember those? Only, there was no real room for creativity with this greenhouse.

While I was putting it all together, it occurred to me, this is really women's work. Here's why.

With the men in my family, I see this going one of two ways.

1) not at all according to the instruction sheet, because as we all know, men don't need instructions. And there needs to be that requisite moment of wondering why the manufacturer sent all the wrong pieces.

or, 2) a matter of overthinking this, completely. Because, as we all know, there must be a "best" way to do this, a formula, a dozen or more "special" tools, pieces laid out tidily, not in a heap on the floor (as my get-right-to-it nature would have), but in an organized fashion, so that each piece is in easy reach at just the appropriate time. Now, this greenhouse would most definitely turn out perfectly, there's no doubt about that. It's just that a 30-minute assembly could potentially turn into hours and hours of meticulous execution.

As I said, this is definitely women's work!

(just kidding, of course -- <wink> )

Gifts, expectations, and what is right for our own circumstances

I've recently been in an uncomfortable situation where I was giving gifts to a few people, but feeling like my gifting abilities might be falling short of the recipients expectations. It wasn't that I felt they were expecting me, personally, to give a more extravagant gift, but that in general, they were accustomed to more extravagant gifts.

I engaged many around me in discussions of what would be appropriate, and just how much would be enough to satisfy expectations. This was an emotionally grueling decision for me. I think I spent more hours trying to decide what would be enough of a gift for this occasion, than I spent on last year's tax preparations.

This expectation to give more, comes up in a variety of settings. Our church will sometimes call out to the congregation to search within, to see if we can't increase our giving, temporarily. Or, a phone solicitor for a very worthwhile charity may phone and request a donation. Or, we're invited to a wedding where it does seem that a hefty gift to the bride and groom is in order. Or, what about when friends keep doing extravagant things for you, but you really don't want or can't reciprocate at the same financial level.

These touchy situations aren't going to go away. They will keep appearing, and I will have to continue making internal negotiations over how much is "enough".

This last time, though, I finally had to change how I thought about the value of the gifts I was giving. The change was from what is "enough", to what is "appropriate".

It is appropriate for me to stay within my budget. It is appropriate for me to be a cheerful giver. It is appropriate for me to choose a level of gift that falls in line with my other gift-giving.

In our own family, for the most part, we don't give extravagant gifts to our children or each other. And we don't feel guilty about that or feel we're displaying less love for one another.

In some families, large gifts between each other are the norm. And that doesn't mean they love each other more or less than a family who chooses to use their money differently.

It's easy to get carried away in the moment, and be more extravagant than appropriate. But if my values are to give my own children modest gifts, then doesn't it seem appropriate to give friends' children modest gifts, as well? Even if those same children were accustomed to receiving extravagant gifts from others?

It's really not even a matter of who is wealthier and who is not. It's all about personal values related to making gifts.

For me, it feels easier to give my children just exactly how much I feel is appropriate for any one occasion. So I use this as a barometer, when I am in doubt. Just how much would I feel is right with my own kids for this occasion? That thought, alone, will often help me set the scale for gifts.

In the end, on this particular occasion, I went with what my gut was telling me was an appropriate amount to spend, regardless of what friends or family might be accustomed to. Yes, it was far less than what I'd read was typical or could be expected. But it was in line with what I might give to my own children for a similar occasion.

I hope that my more extravagant friends will appreciate my friendship just for what it is, a person who will be there to help and support them through trials, and rejoice with them in their good fortune, and not measure my friendship by the money I spend on them or their families.

With charitable gifts, our family does place a high value on giving to mission-related purposes. But I also feel comfortable telling a phone solicitor that while I appreciate their charity, we may have already allocated our charitable giving for the year. I am happy to take their organization's name and number, in case something changes. And sometimes, I do end up giving to one of these organizations, later in the year. But sometimes, I don't, and I try not to feel like I have to save the entire world.

And with wedding season just around the corner, I'm already looking to our budget, anticipating a couple of weddings. Fortunately, most of our friends' kids won't have extravagant weddings. And I won't be in that awkward position of feeling like I have to "pay for my plate" at the reception with an equivalent value of gift. But if that did come up (and it could with one of my family member's kids), I would have to really give thought to whether I wanted to attend that wedding, or perhaps I could just send a gift, appropriate to my gift-giving values.

With regards to friends who keep doing extravagant things for us, well, we're in that murky area right now. Reciprocating, in fashion, would run counter to how we choose to spend our money. But we do appreciate their kindness and generosity. I think the most satisfactory answer, though, is to continue expressing our friendship in the ways that are most comfortable to us. True friends will value who we are and not how much we spend.

But it's still a difficult internal struggle for me.


How about you? Have you ever found yourself faced with expectations to spend more on a gift for someone else's child, than you would spend on your own? How did you handle this? How about those super generous friends who keep inviting you to expensive restaurant meals? Are you okay with reciprocating with a home-cooked meal?

February is a good month for me to . . .

(I have to say, is a great month for me to do, on this first one, as it really, really needs it)

. . . clean up and organize the pantry! The pantry is just a helter-skelter of staples, cans here and there, bags on the floor, odd bits in containers. It just all needs some organization, some pouring into containers, and some moving older items to the front. This is easily a full day's work. But February is one of the best months to do this, as the pantry is now beginning to look like we've finally been eating some of this up, without adding a whole lot to replenish and build stock.

While I'll certainly enjoy looking at a cleaned-up pantry, the real benefit is knowing what we have and making sure that I actually use it, every last bit of whatever that "it" may be. Cuz, ya know, using what you already have is one of the best ways to save money for the things you don't have, but need. Like new windows, or replacement carpeting (keeping fingers crossed that can happen in another year).

. . . host a Valentine's Day brunch. My son will most likely want to spend Valentine's evening, alone with his girlfriend, and not with the entire family in company. So, I thought we'd do a Valentine's Day brunch right after church. On the menu -- we have to do these heart-shaped pancakes with a syrup of red currant jelly, melted and thinned with a little water, plus mini crustless quiches, orange juice, fruit salad (orange segments, dried cranberries and toasted almond slivers), coffee, tea and cocoa.

This should be a fun way to celebrate this Hallmark-y holiday. we've done family Valentine's breakfasts, family Valentine's dinners, and now, we'll start a new tradition of a Valentine's day brunch. And once again, we'll be just using what we have on hand. There will be no special trips to the market for anything extra. But that doesn't mean the menu will be lacking in any way. Using only what we have, here, simply means that I need to think a bit on the menu, and find creative ways of making brunch special.

. . . get more seeds started indoors. I can start onions, kale and cabbage indoors right now, to plant out in March. The lettuce seedlings are doing really well, in the flat under a light. Fresh salads, I'm a waitin' for ya!

. . . start the clean-up in the garden. February is a great month for us to begin garden clean-up. There are fewer weeds, the weeds are smaller, mid-month is a good time to prune rose bushes, here, the fruit trees need a good pruning, and if we work fast enough, we can get a layer of mulch down around the base of plants to prevent future weed pop-ups. With all of the rain we will receive between now and late spring, this is also a good time of year to move plants. I have some strawberry plants, under the cherry tree, which I'll dig up, give some away, and replant elsewhere. The tree gives too much shade now, for the strawberries, but I think part of this area will be good for daffodils. Yes, I'll be massing out some daffodils from those I planted in pots, this month. This spot is in view from the kitchen and the deck, so it should be a pleasant outlook on a dreary March day.

As cold as it is outdoors still, the thought of beautiful flowers in bloom is pretty good motivation to get me outside. In those pots of bulbs, on the deck, I have pink hyacinth, blue grape hyacinth, yellow and white daffodils, multi-hued tulips and purple and white crocus, all coming up. I am really excited for spring this year. I've been making plans for putting together a bulb basket for the kitchen table, with several pink hyacinth, for Easter. And a vase or two of daffodils would be so fresh and spring-like, too!

. . . order a portable greenhouse for the deck, so I can move plants/seedlings outside earlier in the year. Is this a toy or a tool? I think a bit of both. Either way, it will be a help to our garden, and put fresh veggies on our table sooner than usual.

. . . organize the upstairs linen closet. That closet is in shambles and could use some straightening. It's a very small closet, so it really needs to be kept tidy. I'll sort through all of the sheets, and label shelves, so it's clear what is what on each shelf. This would also be a good time to see what I can put aside for kids setting up their own housekeeping. I don't need to keep those items in the linen closet, but could bag them up for the cedar chest.

An overwhelming situation in our house is closets, pantries and cupboards which need a good straightening. The cooler days of winter are a great time for me to tackle these, and I have little desire to be outdoors.

Yet, this is also a good time to get myself outdoors, as weeds are at a minimum. Plus, if I transplant plants now, they'll do well this spring. And plants like rose bushes and fruit trees need to be pruned this time of year. So, I will have to make myself get out there, despite the chill. I think there's a hot cup of cocoa waiting for me, when I come back inside as my reward. that's another thing February is good for -- sipping hot cocoa. I'll take mine with a marshmallow, please!

What's on your plan for this month?